It could have been perfect I thought, only if he could control his temper.. Only if he could walk away to cool off if he was upset.. but as funny as it sounds, those were the moments I enjoyed most.. With anger in his eyes, you could see them turn red like hot flames.. the way his forehead squeezed showed the intensity of the rage burning inside of him..
He pulled me by my hair, holding on so tight, it almost felt like my scalp would tear.. He whispered into my ears " you dirty filthy s***"..
He thought it caused me pain, he thought it made me fear him.. but No, it turned me on in different ways.. I wished he'd just bite my neck giving me a hickey, I wished he'd hold my neck so tight like he wanted to take my last breath..
The thought of him doing this and me begging him stirred up an urge within me, a feeling I didn't want to stop..
He turned me around so that my face can be close to his, this time he is holding my neck... Yes, I said in my head.. I was beginning to breathe fast, I leaned forward so that my lips could touch his, I wanted to kiss him so bad, he noticed, I guess he wondered how the pain he tried inflicting was causing me so much pleasure with the way he pushed me away from his face.. I staggered and stopped with my back facing the wall.. This is when he yells " oh you think this is fun" when his fists comes down on my lips.. I squirmed in pain facing down, I licked my lip feeling the metallic taste of blood, I smiled.. It turned me on even harder..
He knows he's not getting the reaction he wanted out of me, he then slaps me so hard that I find myself stumbling over the furniture in the room.. I then land on the couch which reeked of spilled alcohol and stale sperm of which we had several intimate moments on..
I tried to look back at him, as he rushed towards me, with me kneeling faced down on the couch, he pulls up my dress leaving me bare bottomed as he smacks me hard with his bare hands, the pain stung my bare skin, leaving a burning aftermath sensation..
Just when I thought he was going to take off his pants and let me feel him hard inside of me, he pulls my head back, that's when I feel something cold and thin on my neck, it's getting tight I could hardly breathe.. he uses his leg to step on my back for balance while pulling the cord back.. Then I realise he was trying to kill me..
I tried fighting back as I held on to the cord gasping for air but he was much stronger than I was.. I was starting to see what looked like tiny stars and darkness.. I start tapping on the cushions just so he could stop but he wouldn't.. at that instant I could hear him laugh and I wondered what was funny..
He released his grip while I sat there gasping for air trying to gain balance and at same time thinking about what had happened when I heard the door close and the car engine start as he drove away...
I knew I would have been dead, but the thought of the pain made me love him even more..
I picked my phone and dialled him to come home....
