Chapter 40

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Our parents leave at 5:00 exactly. They don't say where they're going, but they tell me that Rory and I're gonna be alone. They make a note to hand me $50 before they go. "We'll be back late tonight, okay?"

I nod, but I don't really understand why they're telling me they're coming back late.

Doesn't matter.

They leave.

Taking in a shaking breath, I down a glass of water before going over to Mr. and Mrs. Harwood's bedroom door. I hesitate knocking because...I don't know.

I knock. "...Rory?"

No answer.

I sigh. "Rory, they're gone."

Nothing.

"Rory, please."

The door groans, but nothing happens.

I wipe my face with my hands and turn to get another drink. My stomach's all knotted and I hate it. I just want this to be over, and for us to be okay again.

The door opens when I pick up my glass.

I turn to him, kinda relieved. "You c – "

He keeps his head down, eyes red and face turned away from me.

It hurts.

But I need him to say something first. It just feels right that way.

I still find myself starting, "Ror – "

"Stop," he whispers, still not looking at me. "I...hold on."

I put the glass down.

"...what you said about me...before."

I swallow.

Rory swallows. "Y...you said I..." He clears his throat. "That I...in my journal, this deep, 'No-One-Understands-Me' loner."

My hands shake at my sides.

"And...ab...about bein' a two-faced prick and writin' myself like a saint."

No.

"I...I need to know, Jack."

My eyes burn.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

"Y...d...did y-you read my journal...?" He asks it as a question, accusation, and a confirmation.

I don't look away. But, God, I wish I did. "...yeah."








Rory winces and turns away from me more. "Y – " Something catches in his throat. "...h-how could you d-do that?"







I want to touch him. I need to touch him. I don't. I reach out. My hands are still shaking.

He takes a step back.

I whimper. "...I...I didn't mean to."


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