You Watch Me Bleed||L.S

I CAN'T BREATHE

Louis pulled on one of his usual turtlenecks and stood in front of his full-length mirror. He squeezed the flesh of his thighs harshly. "No wonder. You're so ugly." He told his reflection.

He felt the burn of his own venomous words. "Your alpha will never want you." He curled his nose in disgust at his own reflection but alas the hurt he felt was colossal but it's the truth. His alpha has another omega as much as it hurts him to admit.

He sighs before fixing his hair although there is no reason to. He knows his alpha will never notice him. He knows but it doesn't mean it hurts him any less.

With shaky hands, he reaches for his soothing tablets and takes two without any water. He needs it as much as he needs air, as much as he needs his alpha but he gets neither. Soothers are expensive and that's why he is grateful that his books are famous although it's written under his pen name, 'T. William.'

No one knows he is a writer except his alpha of course but the man will only see him as a friend and Louis has accepted that he will grow old alone without his alpha by his side.

"Not good enough." He spat one more time at his reflection as a reminder and made sure his long-sleeved turtleneck was doing its job before emerging from his room in his and Harry's shared apartment.

It was always Harry and Louis, Louis and Harry. That didn't change when they presented, except for the part where Louis's omega decided that Harry was his alpha and gave his heart to a man who did not care for it. Harry shattered it over and over again and Louis was left to piece it back together but each time a piece was missing.

Their parents were sure that they would end up together and Louis, oh young and naive Louis thought Harry, a gorgeous alpha with eyes that could make the fresh green grass seem dull, dark hair that curled around his shoulders, soft inked skin, perfect plump lips, a scent that screams and demands power and authority, someone who Louis was not good enough for, would want him. He set himself up for the inevitable heartbreak and as much as he knows it's not Harry's fault, he just wishes his alpha would open his eyes, look at him, realize.

He took a deep breath to keep the sting he can feel behind his closed eyelids at bay before opening them and walking forward.

He could hear it, the soft, feminine giggles of an omega and the deep laughter from Harry, his alpha that he so dearly loves. Each step in the direction of the living room is heavy and he dreads it so so much.

Each step and another piece of his heart chips away and falls, its red colour dulling just like the life in Louis's eyes has over the years.

That's why he writes. All his stories, are a reflection of his own emotions but in the form of different people. Some of his stories have happy endings, one he'll never have and the others lugubrious endings, much like his reality.

He tucks his laptop under his arm to get some writing done as he needs to hand in his manuscript in a month before taking the last few steps into the living room.

Harry doesn't seem to notice him, too bewitched by the female omega's charms. Louis's heart breaks a bit more but he pushes his anguish to the back of his mind and takes a seat in front of the pair.

Harry nor the omega have noticed him yet so he silently opens his laptop and types in his password before resuming his writing.

'James understood agony as it has been his best friend for many years. He gave his heart to a man who did not want him, a man who did not love him. He did not fall in love with Rafael because he was lost, lonely, shattered or needed to be mended. He fell in love with him because -'