Hide and Shriek

Don't Air That Fucking Tape

"I'm boooored," Nandor whined rather loudly, tilting his head back dramatically so his voice carried through the room. Guillermo sighed, straightening the knickknacks on the shelf in front of him.

"What do you want me to do about it Master?" he asked, sounding exasperated.

"I don't know, we could play a game or something," he suggested from the couch.

"Okay well how about the quiet game? I like that one," he said. When Nandor hissed, he rolled his eyes, "Okay so not that. Why not hide and seek?"

Nandor seemingly perked up. "What's that?" he asked curiously.

"You don't know how to play hide and seek? It's a kids game," Guillermo said with a smirk, shooting a glance at one of the cameramen who barely suppressed a snicker.

"Yes well I was a child a very long time ago! Need I remind you that I am a vampire?" he defended himself, sass in his voice.

"Not at all, you make it abundantly clear," he snarked right back. Nandor squinted at him, unsure if that was meant to be an insult. Guillermo explained how to play the game. "So one person counts while everyone else hides, then you have to go around trying to find them."

Nandor nodded along, clearly interested in the game. "Okay, and what happens when you find them? Are they punished?"

Guillermo cocked his head, brows furrowing together. "Um, no. No, nothing happens, you just lose." Nandor visibly deflated, waving a dismissive hand in his direction.

"So you just go "aaah I found you! I win!" That sounds very boring Guillermo, great job," he mock praised. The sound recorder and camera man shared a knowing look. He was in one of those moods, which meant a long day for the crew, and frankly everyone else in the house.

"Hey it's only boring if you suck at playing. It sounds to me like you're just afraid to lose. I mean, who knows, if you're good enough at hiding and the seeker gives up on finding you, you could win," he said, trying to cast doubt on his master's skills. He knew Nandor would take the bait; he never backed down from a challenge.

"Hey I could totally win! I just think it doesn't sound very fun. There's no excitement," he argued, just for the sake of arguing. "I mean what am I supposed to do while I wait for you to find me? I just think there needs to be higher stakes to spice it up a little," he said with a shrug.

"Trust me, I'll make sure you won't want to be caught," Guillermo said darkly, and even the camera crew were slightly scared and interested to see what the vampire slaying bodyguard had in mind.

"Why? What are you planning?" Nandor asked sitting up. It was clear he shared the same unsettled curiosity.

"Well... I don't know yet, but it'll be something fun. For me, it won't be for you. You'll probably hate it," he said confidently. He was totally bluffing. Collin Robinson appeared in the doorway, having been eavesdropping.

"You know, you should douse him in glitter. It goes everywhere, and you won't get it completely off of you for a good two months," he suggested. Guillermo shook his head.

"Absolutely not, because I know I'm the one who'll be stuck cleaning it."

Collin chuckled and shrugged. "It was worth a shot. I was kind of looking forward to it. But if you're still looking for suggestions, I got one-"

"No thank you Collin Robinson," Nandor interrupted, waving him off.

"But I was gonna-"

"Full offense Collin Robinson, but your suggestions stink," he said with a half apologetic grimace. His mouth dropped in shock at the insult. He turned to address Guillermo as he spoke.