𝙍𝙚𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙩𝙤 {𝙎𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙪𝙨 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠}

Thirty Four

Regulus and Evan sat across each other on the Hogwarts express, Severus had excused himself to try and talk to Lily, though they all knew, Severus included, that there was no winning Evans over now.

For the most part, the train ride was uneventful. Evan had slept through most of it, and Severus and Regulus didn't bother much with conversation.

Regulus was thinking about Raina, they hadn't talked in some time, and hadn't been on good terms for even longer. He missed her, if he was honest. She took up just about all of his thoughts, chewing away at his cerebrum.

He thought that avoiding her was smart, that maybe if she hated him, she wouldn't be hurt when she inevitably found out he had joined the death eaters.

He didn't think it would be so hard to stay away from her, though. Regulus had been in denial of his feelings forever. It wasn't right to love her in that way, they were best friends, practically siblings, it made no sense why he would love her.

He knew of course, that she didn't love him in return, that much was clear. Though they had almost had sex a few months ago, they didn't.

Perhaps if she hadn't seen the dark mark on his arm, she would have gone through with it, but Regulus was sure she would have regretted it the next morning.

He was okay with the fact that she didn't love him in that way, she loved him as her best friend anyways, and that was enough, or at least she did.

It hurt more and more every time Regulus thought about that. That the girl he loved, who loved him back just barley enough in any sense, now hated him.

Of course it was his fault, he knew it, he should have been honest, he shouldn't have avoided her in a time that he knew she needed him most, but it was too late to do anything about it now.

Regulus hoped that Raina would move on, or even better, that she already did. It was better that she hated him, and that he was out of her life, she deserved better than him. That's what was so terrible about the situation to Regulus. He knew she was better without him, and that probably hurt most of all.

When the train came to a halt, he didn't even look for Raina, he just made his way into the castle and to the the Great Hall. He sat down and wanted to search for her then, but he refrained. He needed to move on just as much as she did, if not more.

He didn't eat dinner. He didn't make much conversation with his fellow Slytherins. He didn't make a single attempt to look at Raina. He hoped she was eating, though he knew she probably wasn't.

Sirius, just a table away, was hoping the same thing. He, in fact, was looking for Raina, though. He wanted to sit with her on the train, however James wouldn't have approved. He continued to look until he realized, Raina wasn't at dinner.

His heart and stomach hurt for her. He felt sick just thinking about how sick she really was, he felt pain that no one else was noticing.

"Moony." Whispered Sirius. Remus looked up, confused as to why Sirius was whispering at him.

"What, Padfoot?" He rolled his eyes, talking at a normal volume.

"Shh!" Sirius shushed his friend. "Which one of you lot has the map." He whispered.

"I think it was Wormtail's turn to take it home." Remus whispered back. Sirius rolled is eyes.

"Oi! Wormtail!" Peter looked up at Sirius, confused. "Where's the hell is the map?"

"I-I thought you and James took it home." Said Peter nervously.

"What? Are you out of your bloody mind?" Sirius spat. "James and I took it home last break."