Prologue

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As Nina Dobrev once said, the worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them. One moment, they are here, and next thing you know, they are just gone, almost as if they never existed. The pain will stay with you, a constant reminder of what was and what is now lost, gone forever. But after some time has passed, the pain will slowly ease, though you won't notice until someday, when you are just gonna wake up and feel fine again. Not necessarily happy, but okay. There will always be this nagging feeling of emptiness inside of you, this darkness clouding your heart, not allowing you to let people in because you are afraid of losing them too, same as you lost everything else. You are scared of being happy again, because it would feel like a betrayal to those you have lost. How could you be happy after losing the most important thing in your world, your family? These last few months were not easy. Actually, they were far from easy; but despite all the downs, there were a few good moments. And through it all I learned that it is okay to grieve, to feel sad and powerless and devastated; but you also have to give yourself a chance to live your live. You are not the one who died, who is gone from this world. You are still here and you owe it to yourself to live your live to the fullest. And it begins with allowing those who clearly care so much about you into your life, to let them help you survive. And after all, I managed to do just that, something I thought was impossible for me to ever achieve: I survived.

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