Sense Of Self- Blue period

Chapter 12

An artist is able to paint liquid sunlight and jeweled droplets. An artist is able to breathe dreams into life. An artist is able to capture the past in the present, and carry it with them to the future.

An artist can connect a piece with the mind, and not just please the eye. An artist can challenge the notion and expectations of society without words. An artist can sway thoughts and emotions, even though they are no  longer there.

...

Rinka was about to leave with Takahashi and Hashida, when she noticed a weeping Ryuji, slumped on a bench and crying his eyes out.

Immediately, Rinka dashed towards him, yataro trailing behind her closely. Seeing her panicking, Ryuji started to slowly explain what had happened.

"I wish it had rained today. There's nothing more painful than a rejection in broad daylight..." Ryuji sobbed.

"... You told him you're a guy?" Yataro spoke.

"I did."

"Ohhh..." Yataro understood. "Anyone would freak out when they finds out the date you thought was a girl, was actually a guy."

"I know."

"But at the very least... He gave you a hug in the end."

With that one line, Ryuji cried even harder.

"Don't be ridiculous... That's the worst! Argh! It's terrible!" He lamented. "He would never have done that if I was a girl!"

The longer Rinka heard him speak, the more she felt as though her heart was wrenching and twisting. It hurt her to see her friend get hurt, because he didn't follow society's norms and didn't conform to it.

It was a brave path, but an extremely painful one. It hurt Rinka even more, as she could do nothing to help alleviate the pain Ryuji was feeling.

" What's do weird about wanting to look pretty and cute, and for a guy to be attracted to another guy?" Ryuji shared his inner frustrations with Rinka and Yataro. "My love, is the only thing that protects me..."

It seems as though that guy couldn't accept Ryuji for who he was, but to Rinka, Ryuji was fine as himself. To her, being normal was overrated.

...

During the cram school lesson, Rinka painted a very turbulent painting. The strokes were rough, and paint splatter could be seen visibly. The painting was about a person leaning against a wall, curled up into a small ball. The man was painted in the bottom left corner, and his shadow stretch on, overshadowing him, consuming him. The shadow was strange, with multiple hands, feet, and eyes jutting out in strange places.

All in all, it wasn't something Rinka would normally paint. It was stunning, nonetheless.

"You felt really strongly while painting this huh." Ooba sensei commented. "You chose a very interesting colour combination. The man is blue, which makes him look sad. Yet, the eyelids, lips, and outlines of the limbs was in red, which makes it look stormy and angry. Very interesting indeed."

"But I felt that you could have made the man, and the shadow more detailed." Ooba sensei suggested.

"Okay." Rinka replied. Rinka already felt much better after releasing her pent up emotions.

...

The next day, Ryuji came walking in with another boyfriend. He made it seem as though his miserable breakup was a figment of their imagination.

As usual, Rinka positioned herself to be next to Takahashi.

"Look at you, being all carefree." He said, as he sharpened his pencils. "During summer, there's going to be a contest."

"A contest?" Yataro parroted, bewildered. It was the first time he heard of it.

"Yeah, in other words, we're all going to get a ranking." Hashida elaborated.

It was then, Rinka recalled Mori Senpai's words.

"Me? I was fifth from the bottom."

Rinka shivered, as she smiled wobbly. The thought of competing with others, brings her great joy. It allowed her to pit herself against others, and improve.

"Ah... I'm so thrilled." Hashida spoke, as he wiped the edges of his lips with his long fingers.

"... You weirdo." Takahashi said.

"Come on~ it's a rare chance to see how good the high school graduates are." Hashida explained, as he strode off to his easel somewhere in the room.

"That's true." Takahashi agreed.

Yataro looked worried, so Rinka lightly hit his head. "Don't think too much. Just do what you always do."

Yataro nodded, his anxiety decreasing.

"I'm not scared of any graduates, but aren't you worried?" Takahashi asked. He then looked at Rinka.

"Not really." Rinka said. "I'll do what I always do. Only through competition, can I improve after all. "

"You're not wrong." Hashida then recalled something. "A few years ago, the top scoring applicant in oil painting was a student."

"What?!" Rinka, Takahashi, and Yataro exclaimed synonymously. "For real?!"

"Oh, you didn't know? She's pretty famous." Hashida said. "Kuwana-san. That's her big sister."

Hashida gestured to a girl casually playing with her pencil. She appeared relaxed and bored.

"Ah. It's the girl who stood out at last year's winter classes." Rinka remembered who the girl was.

"You're good too." Takahashi immediately said.

"Aw~ Thank you, adorable Takahashi~"

"... No problem." Takahashi shyly looked away.

"Well, apparently their whole family attended Geidai." Hashida chuckled.

"So she's from the elite." Takahashi concluded.

...

Their task was to paint the same statue they sketched before. This time, Rinka painted the statue more towards the right part of the canvas.

I didn't paint the statue in the centre, which would disrupt the balance of the painting. That would make the right side feel heavier than the left, which could be interesting...

"You could have added more depth to the painting by drawing some parts of the wall." Ooba sensei said.

"Ah." Rinka then smacked herself. "I forgot. I was more focused about the balance of the painting."

"Haha! I can tell. Keep trying your best, Rinka-chan!"

"Hmm...." Rinka mused. "I have to remember depth, balance, colour, realism..."

"Don't think too hard." Takahashi said.  "Sometimes, you have to take a step back, to really see where your painting is lacking."

Rinka stared at him for a while, before giving him a wide smile.

"Thank you Takahashi-kun!" Rinka said cheerfully. "I'll remember what you said."

Takahashi blushed, but didn't look away this time. "... Okay." He clenched onto his checkered shirt tightly, as he tried to slow down the thumping of his heart.