Today I've thought about giving up at least six times. I need to get rid of my inner saboteur. They keep telling me it's too hard for me, or that I'm not 100% good at anything. I'm just average. At everything I try to do. I feel like shit, because I have the privilege of having a family who financially supports me, this shouldn't be so hard. It seems like nothing is ever fully great for me. There's always something missing. There's always something that goes wrong. It sucks because I was so excited about this new chapter of my life. I really thought things were working out this time. Surprise, surprise: they aren't. Sometimes I tend to act like nothing's really wrong and I keep on going, but it starts being difficult to do that when you become an adult. Adult. This word haunts me. A part of me loves the fact that I'm growing up and doing things for myself. The other one hates the responsibilities. I feel like they didn't prepare me for that. I know it's selfish to blame other people for your flaws, but that's how I feel. Unprepared. Unaware. Well, I need to swallow it up, figure it out and keep going. Even though something's still wrong. I guess that's just how adult life works.
YOU ARE READING
a diary. or something like that.
Randomi'm going through some big changes in my life at the moment. i don't really feel like telling anyone i know about things that go wrong. don't want them to worry or tell me everything's gonna be okay. writing makes me feel like i'm telling someone an...
