friends with benefits?

fresh breakup

JESSICA'S POV

I woke up to the vibrate of my phone, I groaned. I checked the time to it only being 8 in the morning. I had gotten a text from Kendall.

Kendall: Can I come over right now?
Jessica: Yeah, of course. Everything good?
Kendall: I know we're broken up but I miss you. Open your door?

He was already here? I rolled my eyes, why'd he even bother to ask? I got out of bed in my short black biker shorts that barely covered my ass and a large thin white over the shoulder knitted sweater. I lived alone so I was in charge of my life. I yawned as I opened the door to let Kendall in. He had looked me up and down.

"Even in the morning you look beautiful." He told me, smiling.

I smiled back and left it at that. The whole reason we broke up was because I had a feeling he wanted to. He even told me himself that he doesn't know if he'll love me forever, and honestly that shattered by heart into a million fucking pieces. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just make him stay with me and allow him to be unhappy, I loved him too much to make him stay with me when he didn't entirely want to. He had already made his way into my room by the time I had closed my front door.

I owned a one bedroom apartment which was just the coziest place ever. I made my way over to my room and jumped up beside Kendall. My bed was really high and for a short girl like my, that was the only way I could get on. Kendall watched as I struggled a bit to get in bed.

"I don't know why you wanted a high bed, you can't even get on it yourself." He said.

"I got on it by myself, didn't I?" I replied with some sass.

"My bad." He then said with a mocking, joking tone.

"What are you even doing here?" I swear I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just asking.

"I wanted to hold you." As soon as he said those words I had almost cried, but I wasn't going to let him see that.

I opened my arms wide as I watched him pull closer to hold me, I felt his safe strong arms wrap around myself and his chest connect with mine. He buried his head into my neck and we just stayed like that for a while until I heard sniffling.

"Are you crying?" I held his face up to see. He was, aw.

"I just feel like a bad guy, I'm sorry I can't promise you forever." He told me.

"It's ok, Kendall. You know I wouldn't make you stay with me if you didn't love me like that. Now you can be on your own or even date other people. You can be happy and figure things out on your own." I began to cry now. Obviously it hurt to say he didn't love me, I mean I know he did but not in the way I wanted him to.

"I do love you though, I wanted you to know." I smiled at what he said he just nodded. "Jess, I really do. Please know that."

I was tearing up, they just streamed down my cheeks. "I know bub, it's ok." Bub was the nickname I had began to call him when we were dating, he absolutely hated it at first but later on it was all he wanted to be referred as.

His lips locked with mine, it was like a magnetic force. I didn't want to move my lips away and neither did he. We began making out, things were getting heated and I so wanted to continue. I pulled away from the kiss, Kendall had given me a confused look.

"Kendal, we probably shouldn't be doing this right now." I told him.

Kendall always listened to me, he never once forced me or guilt tripped me into have sex. He understood right away and nodded.

"Can I still just hold you while we lay and watch a movie?" He asked so innocently.

"Of course, why don't you pick something out for us to watch. I'll just go get some drinks and snacks for breakfast." I slid off my bed as Kendall grabbed the remote on my side table to look for movies.

Spider-man with Andrew Garfield was the one he chose, I wasn't surprised. But I did like that movie too, especially Andrew Garfield. I placed our drinks and snacks on the side table and made my way onto my bed. I snuggled into Kendall's warm body as he pressed play. I could already feel myself drifting to sleep.