friends with benefits?

missing you

JESSICA'S POV

My last semester of college has been difficult and I'm still in the process of trying to find a nice job. I haven't seen Kendall in a month but we talk everyday and there's finals next week. I've been isolating myself from everyone because I didn't want to be distracted from studying. I've barely been talking to Kendall as well, I've just been focused on studying for finals but he knows that. I hope he doesn't take it personally, I mean he's busy as well doing his show and performing.

I'm physically drained but I want to end the semester off strong, especially since it's my last one before graduating.

I decide to move to my bed, I threw on one of Kendall's hoodies that he left behind for me to wear when I miss him. It still had his scent, wearing it made me feel safe and warm. I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

KENDALL'S POV

It's currently 10pm, after a long day of working the guys wanna go out to the club. We all get into James' car, one of our body guards is driving it that way we don't have to worry about getting home.

I haven't gotten a text back from Jess yet, she's probably studying. I hope she's getting some rest, to take a break from school for a little bit.

We arrive at the club, the same one where I saw Jess the night of her birthday. The thought of that memory made me smile, I really missed her.

James went to go get some drinks and before we all knew it we were all chugging them down like it was nothing. Logan and James went to go talk to girls while Carlos and I just jammed to the music and talked. We were both in relationships so we didn't see the point in trying to ruin anything.

"How's Jess?" Carlos screamed loud enough for me to hear.

"She's a bit stressed, she has finals coming up." I told him.

"I'm sure she's got it, she's almost done too. I'm happy for her man!" He told me. It made me smile because I really was proud of her.

Carlos and I talked for a bit before he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I stayed in the same spot kind of just dancing on my own.

CARLOS'S POV

I finished in the bathroom when my eyes widen. I ran over to Kendall and so did James and Logan.

"Dude what the fuck is this?" I ask Kendall.

"Hey, do you mind going? He has a girlfriend." Logan told the girl.

"I don't see the girlfriend." She said.

"Hey, move it." James said in an angry tone.

"What are you guys doing?? I was making out with her." Kendall said.

"Kendall what the fuck is your problem??" I asked.

"See it seems like he still wants me." The girl came back out of nowhere.

"Yeah I do, back off guys." Kendall said and made his way over to her.

"What about Jess?" Logan asked. We were all thinking about Jessica, I know she wouldn't want to hear news like this when she's literally stressed out about finals coming up.

"Let me have some fun. She's all the way in North Carolina." Kendall said.

Just like that James brought him to his car with the security card, we all went back to James' house.

"Why the fuck did you do that James?" Kendall asked.

JAMES' POV

"Kendall shut the fuck up, I can't believe you're seriously trying to cheat on Jess. You know what you actually did cheat on her for kissing that girl. What is wrong with you, huh?? You promised me you wouldn't hurt her again, I stayed back and let you date her because you said she would be happy this time, that things would be better. You fucking lied and now you need to tell her because if you don't then we will." I told him, anger running through my veins.

"Again? What do you mean?" Logan asked me.

"Yeah what are you talking about?" Carlos said.

"Kendall and Jess have known each other since high school, they dated but then had a whole friends with benefits thing going on after they broke up. He left early to go to LA and he left her in her apartment alone without even saying a proper goodbye when she still loved him. Then she comes to LA for her 21st birthday and they hookup when they meet at the club, she runs out the next morning and I see her. You could see how broken she still felt because of what happened between them, but I talked to her and she was sweet and beautiful. I wanted to get to know her more but Kendall told me they had a past, he wanted to fix things."

"Kendall, you and Jess have been dating just a month and you've already cheated. Being drunk is not a reason and the fact that you haven't seen each other that much is also not a reason. Nothing can justify you cheating." Logan said.

"You need to tell her, or else we actually will. She doesn't deserve this you know that." Carlos said.

JESSICA'S POV

I wake up to my phone ringing, it was Kendall. A smile grew on my face and I answered right away.

"Hey baby." He said.

"Hiii, I really miss you. I'm so sorry I haven't been texting you that often, I've been so caught up in studying for my finals."

"Aw I miss you too baby."

"I'm wearing your hoodie, wanna see? Why don't we facetime Ken?" He seemed really upset and I hope it's not because I haven't been able to talk. It was dead quiet. "Kendall, I'm sorry, I know I haven't really been able to talk. Please don't be mad."

KENDALL'S POV

The guilt was growing on me, I didn't want to facetime because I didn't want to see how much I've hurt her.

"Baby I'm not mad at you, don't worry." How could I still call her that? I didn't deserve it. I could feel all the guys staring at me. "Jess I need to tell you something... I cheated on you."

"What?" She said totally shocked from what I had just said.

"I kissed someone at the club, I'm so sorry Jessica."

"You were drinking and kissed someone?" She asked.

"Yes." I told her with pure guilt.

"Do the guys know? When did this happen?" She was asking so many questions, was she going to forgive me?

"The guys know, they stopped me. It just happened, I'm telling you just as soon as it happened."

"Oh." Was all she said, then it was quiet. No one talked, I looked up at the guys with no clue on what to say or do. Then she spoke again, "Kendall. I'm sure you couldn't have meant actual harm when kissing that girl today, I appreciate you telling me right away. I'm sorry because I wasn't able to let you feel good the way she probably did when you guys were kissing. You deserve someone who lives near you, someone you want enough that you'll kiss them when people are trying to stop you. You deserve someone more attractive, I'm sorry I couldn't be all those things." She hung up after that.

I tried to call her back but the guys stopped me.

"You need to give her some space." Logan said.

Shit. What the fuck have I done, I can't believe I pulled this shit. I messed things up, again.