Money and Regrets (Squid game)

Midnight Memory

I decided to get some fresh air and think for a moment. I want to stay alive yet I want to go back. Outside that mysterious place, I have no purpose... I have no one... It's too boring here.

I let out a sigh. I keep walking, and walking, just letting my feet wonder me around the park. It's been a long time since my mother bought me here... Now she's gone.

That man killed my mother... Why did those scumbags put me in jail for having my revenge? I lost everything because of him... Fuck him! I won't forgive him forever, neither did God.

A pastor who's more sinful than a normal person? That doesn't sit right with me. The things I did is not enough... He didn't just killed my mother. He killed me also... Now I'm alone. Alone, and miserable. Alone, and no purpose.

I smiled bitterly to myself. Remembering those things are not healthy for me. Before my mother lose her last breath, she told me to find my grandfather, but I don't know where to start to.

I shrugged my shoulders. I'm not here for that... I need to breathe. I just got out of jail, I should enjoy the outside world...

"Nice body." I was stunned when someone pulled me closer to his body. "How much for this night?"

You know what, I should have stayed in that place, because I would rather play those children game than talking with this disgusting piece of shit.

"I'm not an escort." I hissed, removing his hand on my waist. For fuck sake! Is this my fate? To murder another scumbag?!

"Come on, I can pay you  lots of money, if you give me this sexy body of yours." I can hear his voice in my ear, touching me, I can already feel his horny dick in my ass. This is odiosly disgusting!

"Please leave me alone." I said calmly. I don't want to go back inside that jail. Not now, not again.

He didn't listen, he even started to lick my ear.

"I said fucking leave me alone you dickhead!" I grabbed his hand and removed it on my body aggressively. My vision darkened as I feel my blood boiling in frustration. I turned on him grabbed his neck.

"You're fucking disgusting! Don't you ever lay your hands on me!" He was shocked at my sudden move. Didn't expecting such things in me.

I tightened my grip on his neck, I already told him to stay away. He didn't listen.

I kicked his balls using my knee, he groaned in pain, we both lost our balance, I'm on top of him. Begging for me to let him go.

I can see how his head is becoming purple, losing air.

I let him go, and casually stood and sat on the bench as if nothing happened while he's catching his breath. Struggling to  stand up with fears in his eyes.

I grabbed a plastic of bubblegum and opened it. I started to chew it and rest my back on the bench. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

"Are you ok?"

"I told you leave me alone!" I stood up and hold the collar of his jacket and spit the bubblegum on his face... Ops wait! Wait... Should I say her?

I immediately removed my hands on her. Grinning in embarassment. I bit my lower lip as I saw her flustered face in front of me.

"What was that for." She's glaring on my soul, as if I'm always naked in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I thought you're the man who bothered me earlier." I explained. Her face softened, I can see the glint of worry on her eyes but it disappeared quickly.

"The man you almost killed?" My eyes widened. Hey what she had seen is different from what I had experience.

"Yes, the man who ALMOST raped me." I emphasized.

She nodded. "I didn't saw that, I just saw you flaming mad. You could have killed someone if you didn't let him go, you know." She said and sat down "If you killed that man, You could have go to jail. You're too young for that."

Ironic. 

she's caring for me now? Huh? I smirked.

"He touched me without my consent." Instead of replying on me, she tapped the next sit beside her, telling me to sit down with her.

"Hmm. Why are you here in the middle of the night?" She asked. I looked up to her, she's looking straight, no emotion. She's too hard to read.

"I should ask that to you too."

"I'm the one who asked you first. Mind answering it first?" She replied coldly. "It's dangerous to be outside in midnight."

"I can handle myself." I whispered. I don't want to argue right now. I'm tired... She stared at me, again.

She love a staring contest that much? I just realized, her face is a perfect standard for a man.

I suddenly felt my heart beating fast. I can't stand her stare... She's making me feel uncomfortable, is she analyzing my whole body? Her eyes are staring at my soul and it felt so weird... It's tingling my stomach. I swallowed hard as I hear how loud my heartbeat is... I just wish she can't hear it.

"Is it cold or hot?" She broke the awkward silence between us and asked out of nowhere that made me go back to my senses. "You're face is getting red." I caressed it, trying to looked at it even if it's impossible.

"You want a mirror or something?" She asked, she's not helping.

"Quit staring at me, you north korean spy! You're making me feel uncomfortable." I hissed.

"I thought you love attention?" She said monotone. "You should go back home... Rest." She added before she stood and start walking away.

I was left in here still holding my cheeks. My lips formed a smile involuntary.

"I don't have a home!" I shouted as loud as I can. Before laughing hysterically.

I don't want to go home, memories will hunt me down. I hate that house... I won't go back there, I'd rather stay here.