where did you go | B.E

10

help_urself - euzekiel

tw: unsafe home, mentions of alcohol, overall offensive questions, mentions of eating disorders, homophobic slurs, attempted sa
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omniscient
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the wind almost as loud as the thoughts in her head, billie took a deep breath of the cold, october, new york air before stepping up to the front door.

the door was grey, painting chipped and dirty, making billie feel less at home than she already did.

she couldn't spot a doorbell, so with an era of unwillingness she reached out a slightly shaky hand to knock on the damp wood.

she definitely couldn't say she was excited.

after waiting for what felt an extended amount of time, there was still no answer from inside, so she knocked again, this time a little louder.

"hold on!" she heard.

not liking the sound of the voice, billie turned around, considering running, but it was already too late as the door opened, revealing a large woman. her hair was matted, and she had smeared makeup all over her face.

"so you gonna tell me who you are?"

a sense of dread filled billie as she spotted the bottle of beer in her hand, making her want to be back at rae's wrapped up in her arms more than she did already.

"what are you stupid? god, i hate getting these special needs kids. who are you?" she asked again, speaking slower and louder.

billie held in a gasp as she shook herself from any emotions.

"no. i'm billie. i'm supposed to be here because my dad's arrested. who are you?"

her voice was a monotone, apart from the question she ended with where she imitated the voice the woman had previously used.

"i'm linda. your room's upstairs." she mumbled before wandering back inside to the tv, leaving billie alone outside the door.

unwanted tears pricking at her eyes, she walked inside the apartment, instantly smelling the unpleasantly familiar stench of alcohol, and resisting the urge to slam the door closed as she walked up the stairs.

the room she was met with wasn't much of a condolence for what she had been through already only this morning.

it didn't even have a bed, the only thing making up the room was a dingy mattress on the floor and some tattered curtains. it was dimly lit, matching billie's overall mood.

sitting down on the mattress, she wondered how long it would take her to get sick in this room.

not long, she thought, as a slight choke escaped her lips, but she soon realised that it was in fact a sob. she muffled it as best as she could, covering her face with her hands and clamping her lips together and biting her cheeks until it passed.

something told her this lady would not approve of crying in her household.

hours passed, filled with nothing but a feeling of emptiness in billie's chest that took over her every now and again and rose into a suppressed sob somewhere in her throat.