Keep Running

Chapter 30 - Caroline

"You're late," I said, as I let Ben into the motel room. One of the dogs jumped up to greet him. I went back to sit down on the bed. It was well past midnight. And I was distressingly waiting up for Ben instead of joining him in nightly escapades. Despite nightly escapades getting me here. I put a hand on my huge belly. Just past seven months and the days of being able to hide it a mere memory. My child was well on its way into the world.
"I was productive," Ben said, fanning a handful of cash before going to secure it in his bag, "What about you? All quiet?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, nothing happened. This one wanted to be off with his uncle up to mischief though, he's been moving all night," I said, rubbing my belly, through my huge t-shirt. It's one of Ben's, but even it is stretched taught over my stomach now.
"Tell him I'll teach him how to get into trouble soon enough," Ben said, lying down on his bed, the dogs coming to lick his face.
"I did. He likes it if I sing to him," I said, smiling a little. It's true; the little one calms down if I talk to him. Sometimes I think he shoves me like he does just to get attention. I'm quiet if Ben isn't about and I think my baby gets lonely. It's been a good two months since I could go about freely pretending I wasn't with child, and now moving about just takes an absurd amount of energy. We did go to a free place to get a scan. I felt huge and I was thinking I'd miscalculated how far along I was. I did not, they told us it is a boy, yes just one not an entire litter shut up Ben. A boy, the nice result of rum and tequila. Ben says we're naming it rum. I tell him to shut up. He doesn't say a lot about it though, teasing me a bit that I'm big enough to be carrying a small army. Practical things about being ready for it. That's it. "You really all right?"
"In general or about the baby?"
"About the baby."
"He's here now isn't he? We're a family. We take care of each other," Ben said, firmly, turning to look at me, "That's what I'm here for. I'm going to protect both of you now. You can tell the little tiger he's along for the ride like it or not."
"I think he likes it," I said, looking down at my stomach. Ben was less than enthusiastic when I told him I was carrying the child. He was pragmatic about that. He was downright angry I wasn't telling him who the father was. Because I don't know.
"You gonna tell him who his daddy is?" he asked, still looking at me even though I wasn't looking back.
"I told you I don't know his name. I don't even really know what he looked like. I was drunk and having fun. You heard of fun?"
"I've read about it."
"Well, I'm not having fun now. Doesn't matter," I said, rubbing my belly and feeling a bit bad about that comment. I do like the little devil. I just don't especially like feeling rotten and hiding while I'm having it.
"I'd want to know. That's all." He meant he'd want to know if he was someone's father.
"You're different," this guy probably wouldn't care. He probably doesn't remember me anymore than I do him. Not his fault more than mine; I only vaguely remember the incident and for whatever reason evading police, nor would I remember it with any significance if I didn't have a child in me. There's no point in making any attempt to find him either. I have no idea who he was or really what he looked like.
Ben had never had any sort of affair, so far as I knew. And I would pretty much know. Sex would require him to trust someone, something he is loath to do. Ever. He's too practical and he despises people in general, with no discrimination based on age or gender.
"Do you think it's---you know," even now we don't say the words.
"Yeah," I can feel it. It's strange. It's like I feel it's mind trying to crawl into mine. I get headaches. It started a couple of weeks ago. Now it won't stop. Ben has had headaches too, but he hasn't made the connection I don't think. I have. I think this one is ready to be born and it wants to get out.
"We'll be okay," Ben said looking over at me, "I'm gonna take care of you."
"I'm not going to a hospital," I don't want them to take it away.
"There's no reason they'd find out. And I'm not losing you. If it's between you and the baby I have to save you," he said, "Not lose you both."
"If it's between us I want you to save it," I said, my hands around my stomach protectively.
"I'm taking you a hospital. They won't realize what it is---what are the odds the kid comes out trying to force-strangle people or whatever?" Ben asked.
"Given that's its related to us?" I asked.
"It's a baby. We didn't know with you. Not for sure, till you were older," he said.
"I still don't want to go to a hospital." I do not want them to take it away. This wasn't exactly a plan. But I do love it. It's mine. I don't want it off someplace in the world without me.
"Okay," he said, like he was not going to do it.
I groaned because he's dumb he'll protect me forever like our dad told him to. He has exactly two settings, one is get drunk and self-destruct, the other is protect Caroline. There is no in between. And he oscillated between the two rapidly. No that's not true. He always protects me.
"It's gonna be all right. All three of us---gonna be just fine, I promise," Ben said, "You hear that? It's a promise."
"Yeah, we are," I said, reaching out and taking his hand to put on my stomach.
"Your alien is weird," He said, laughing and letting me anyway.
"I know right? He kicks all the time," I said.
"Hi rum and coke, you let your mother sleep now," Ben said.
"Shut up, I'm naming him," I said, pushing him away as the baby squirmed against my stomach, like it wanted to come out and play with its silly uncle. It probably did. Ben actually kept smiling. He would have liked being an uncle. He would have liked being there for Rowan. Us being a family again.
All we've had forever is each other. We get by. And even though I know my Rowan is probably long since dead. I'm going to keep trying to find him. I deserve to know what happened to him.
"You gonna get some sleep?" Ben asks, coming out of the bathroom rubbing his hair with a towel.
"Look," I say, nodding for him to come and sit next to me. "I've been checking security tapes in the area surrounding where the Senator's daughter was held."
"And?"
"And I think I've got a better face," I say, turning the laptop to face him. "A few days ago, coming out of a smoothie place outside airport."
"Yep, that's our guy," Ben says, sitting down next to me. The grainy feed shows two men walking rather close, the one in question, our mutant, is obviously cuffed at the ankles. He's wearing a 'vegan' t-shirt with some other wording on it, and he's got marks on his face, lines rather down it. His hair is dark and in his eyes and he's looking at the other man who looks like a handler. I see various tasers on the handler's belt. Both men are wearing backpacks.
"Fuck—they flew him in? He's not even held in Washington?" Ben asks.
"That's what I'm thinking. Why though? He's that good at what he does? They trust him that much?" I say.
"Those look like scars or birthmarks to you?" Ben asks, fussing with the feed.
"Birthmarks---I don't see how you'd get scarred like that, it looks more like an odd genetic—birthmark, thing, it's not deep or anything," I point out.
"Yeah---which is good that means that maybe that'll help us ID him," Ben says, "How old do you think he is?"
"Too old to be Rowan---especially if they're flying him in to use him. And those are probably birth marks," I say, going to my other computer while he looks at that one, "He's somebody's though. And maybe the birth marks will help us find his family, that's pretty obvious."
"Well, if they moved him, and we have an image, our job here is done, right?" Ben asks.
"Yep, as soon as we're out of this godforsaken country I'll publicize his image, maybe he'll get to go home," I say.
"Yeah. You wanna get out of here?"
"Tonight?"
"Yeah why not?"
"Sure. Let's go."