My Client the Rockstar (Book 2 Steel Wolf Collection)

Chapter 72

A roaring in my ears starts and everyone sounds like the adults from Charlie Brown. I can hear my name being called, but my brain is unable to process. My thoughts are a mess and I cant latch onto only a single one. Too many are flowing through my head. 

I'm reminded of when the doctor said if he had one more overdose he would more than likely die. The last time I saw his face filters through and all the anguish his features were holding. What if those memories become the last ones I have of him. What if I lose him before I can get him to listen and forgive me? I no longer know how to live in a world without Ryder being a part of it. Sure these past couple of months have been hard, but he's still be in my life. Maybe not in the way I would like for him to be, but he still was.

My heart ceases to beat in my chest and I hold on to my chest while the pain blossoms from my heart to the rest of my body. He's overdosed. Ryder so desperately needed an escape he took too much. He was chasing the original high, but no matter how much he chased he would never reach it. And now he's chased to the point he's overdosed.

Those words play on repeat in my head till I can hear is Skylar saying them. I can hear screaming and sobbing in the distance and it takes me a moment to realize the person screaming is me. I need to quite my sobs and try to focus back on my surroundings. 

To do so I follow a method once taught to me. Find five things I can see. I glace around and in my head recite out loud the five things I can see. "Table. Chair. My hands. Floor. Flowers in the table."

Someone around me picks up on what I'm doing and asks me the next question. "Four things you can touch." The male voice demands.

"Myself. The floor. The chair. And you," I sob glancing at the male voice and discovering Robby on the floor with his arms around me.

"Good. Now Three things you hear," he say stroking my back.

This one I really need to focus one. I close my eyes and really listen. "Other voices. Skylar crying and the music playing." I open my eyes feeling my heart rate slow and my breathing return to almost normal.

"Two things you can smell." When I don't respond right away he says, "Aubree focus. You can do this."

I nod my head determined to see this through. "The food cooking in the kitchen and my body spray."

"Final one. One things you can taste."

I lick my lips. "My Chapstick." I tell him feeling more focused on the here and now that I felt a few moments before.

"Aubree are you back with me," he asks brushing my hair from my face. I launch myself into his arms and cry, but this time a more controlled cry.

"I'm back," I whisper into his ears and my tears continue to soak his shirt. "Thank you for brining me back." I push away from him slightly.

He squeeze me. "Anytime. I've got you." Robby is a true friend. We could go months or even years without talking, but he always has my back. Even when we were kids I could always count on him to be there. He is one of the few from my past I still speak with. 

I stand from the floor and Skylar leaps from the chair into my arms. Tears are streaming down her face and she keeps repeating how could this have happened. When she starts to blame herself is when I step in.

"Don't," I tell her. "None of this is your fault. You have no control over his actions and quite frankly right now neither does he." She goes to say something, but I stop her. "No matter what any of you did he would find a way to find the drugs because he was craving them." I grab her shoulders and force her to face me. "This. Is. Not. Your. fault. You need to stop blaming yourself. Last time I went through this with him that lesson was the hardest I head to learn and over come."