Swag master purple riding hood

Once upon a time there lived a young girl who went by the nickname 'Swag master purple riding hood', her real name forgotten due to it simply not being as cool as she was.

She lived a very face fall yet extremely cool life in a forest near some cliff with her parents. Everyone loved and respected her because she was just so cool (there were some jealous bitches but whatever). She basically lived a swag life and blessed everyone with her presence.

So one time while she was chilling with her animal bros doing whatever cool people do, her mother came out from inside the house and called her inside for breakfast.

Now while everyone naturally always respected and admired swag master purple riding hood anyway, she had an ability, which was basically that whoever disrespected swag master purple riding hood would (depending on the intensity of the sin) be punished accordingly.

For example: once a foolish and incredibly rude monkey was mocking swag master purple riding hood, much to the horror/ disgust/whatever of the animals there, and as a punishment his tail disappeared. Dude basically got what was coming to him.

Anyway, so the parents ask swag master purple riding hood to visit her sick grandma to which she agrees because she likes sweet old grandmas . So off she went to visit her grandma.

Meanwhile on the cliff near the forest, two vultures were talking shit about swag master purple riding hood while waiting for their brother. An then the third vulture appears and goes "Hey I just overheard swag master purple riding hood say she was going to her sick grandma's house to visit her." Hearing this the other two had an Idea. They could make swag master purple riding hood lose her swag and everyone's respect by killing her grandma and eating her so she would have failed to protect her sweet old grandma. And so the set off to put their plan into action.

~Back to swag master purple riding hood~

She was coolly and casually strolling through the forest making all the animals feel honored and blessed by her presence when one of the vulture bros approaches her :"Hey there swag master purple riding hood," he said as he settled on the branch of a nearby tree. "I heard your grandma's sick."

"Yeah, she has a cold"

"Oh dear, how awful she must be feeling. Ah! I know! Why don't you pick her that one fruit she really likes from that one tree that's kinda far away, to make her feel better?"

Swag master purple riding hood thought about it for a bit then said "Yeah I guess she'd like that." and went away. This was it! This is their chance! The vulture flew away to inform his brothers and they went to the grandma's house and through the door, and started circling her, preparing to attack, and flew at her! When bam! An axe flew through through the air and just narrowly missed them. The hunter had arrived! He swung his axe around heroically and............................................................ still got his ass kicked. All hope was lost. But wait! There's swag master purple riding hood! She super kicked butt like the badass bitch she is (with all due respect and in a good way).

The vultures had Really fucked up this time. They super disrespected swag master purple riding hood and as a punishment were turned into humans and forced to slave away at a sucky job barely being paid minimum wage for the rest of their lives.

Moral:- Never disrespect a swag master.

A/n: Can someone count how many times I wrote swag master purple riding hood? I kinda want to know but I'm seriously too lazy.