KuroYami Week

Day 6: Jamming Out

WARNING: I know this prompt was created with intention of being something cute, but my demented brain decided "How about we go with angst, angst, and more angst with no comfort?"

It's also based on my KuroYami one-shot "Stay Alive." So if you haven't read it already, go check it out for full context. You don't necessarily have to read it, though.

Basically, this fic is gonna contain a breakdown, mention of MCD, and LOTS of crying

Shihai laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His expression was mostly blank if it weren't for the small bit of sadness in his eyes. He was still processing what had happened just a few hours ago. Subconsciously, he fiddled with the black promise ring on his finger.

All the Tartarus escapees had attacked UA High, Moonfish being one of them.

He remembered hearing about how his boyfriend was the reason Moonfish was arrested in the first place.

How the cannibal wanted revenge.

The attack.

Fumikage and his friends covered in scrapes and scratches.

The blades shooting towards him.

The sheer look of panic on Fumikage's face.

Fumikage flying towards him, hoping to save him.

...

He remembered the blades impaling Fumikage's already injured body....

The pain he was in....

The blood....

The feeling of helplessness in that moment.

The burst of adrenaline that lead to him knocking out Moonfish.

Holding Fumikage in his arms for the last time.

So much blood....

His last words.

"I ... love you .... Always."

Shihai felt his vision blur with tears. Choking on a small sob, he wiped the tears away. He wanted to someone to hold him.

No.

He wanted to hold someone.

Fumikage, to be exact.

He wanted him to be here in his arms where he belonged.

He just wanted his love bird back....

Unbeknownst to him, there was a pair of arms around him.

Fumikage remembered the moment he died. Nothing seemed to change. He just remembered the pain stopping abruptly and hearing Shihai's cries of agony. He tried to hug Shihai assuringly, but he didn't notice. Their teachers came over to try to console him. Fumikage could only watch.

They don't see or hear me....

Even though no one could see or hear his spirit, he still decided to be there for Shihai. He stuck by his side, just like he was now. It hurt that Shihai didn't even know that, but he was insistent on doing this. It at least helped the ache in his heart a little.

Shihai climbed out of his bed, his body passing straight through Fumikage's arms. The avian ghost sighed, still getting used to the feeling of being able to pass through solid things.

Shihai scrolled through his phone and pulled up a song. A song that he felt fit this situation.

When the song started, he flopped on the bed again, singing softly and tears silently fell. "I never ... said I'd lie and wait forever. If I died, we'd be together. I can't always just forget him. But he could try."

"Never. Never, darling," Fumikage whispered. He knew those were the lyrics, but he still wanted to say that, even if Shihai couldn't hear it.

Shihai stood up and started anxiously pacing around the room, hugging himself tightly. He scowled at the floor as more tears streamed down his face. "At the end of the world. Or the last thing I see. You are," He threw his head back and started scream singing. "never coming home, never coming home. Could I?! Should I? And all the things that you never ever told me. And all the smiles that are ever, ever...."

He turned back to face the floor, choking on another sob. "Ever ... get the feeling that you're never ... all alone?"

Fumikage got off the bed and gently paced alongside him. Tears started for fall down his cheeks, too. Shihai continued.

"And I remembered now. At the top of my lungs, in my arms, he dies."

The memory of Fumikage in his arms flashed through his mind as he collapsed onto his knees. Once again, he threw his head back and screamed towards the floor above him. "He dies!" He lurched forward a bit, using his hands to catch himself. He let out a sob, tears hitting the floor. Fumikage kneeled next to him, gently rubbing his back, despite knowing it won't help.

This time, both of them decided to sing along, tears soaking their cheeks.

"At the end of the world, or the last thing I see, you are never coming home, never coming home! Could I?! Should I? And all the things that you never ever told me! And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me!

"Never coming home, never coming home! Could I?! Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me, for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me!"

Shihai fully collapsed, hugging his knees to his chest in a fetal position. "If I fall ... If I fall...."

"Down," Fumikage murmured.

Shihai didn't even bother vocalizing the little solo. He buried his face into his knees and let his sobs echo through the room along with the music.

Fumikage remained sitting, but he hugged himself and bowed his head, crying as hard as his boyfriend was.

As the chorus neared again, the recomposed themselves enough to continue. "At the end of the world, or the last thing I see, you are never coming home, never coming home! Never coming home, never coming home!

"And all the things that you never ever told me! And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me! Never coming home, never coming home! Could I?! Should I?!

"And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me, for all the ghosts that are never gonna...."

Shihai resumed his sobs, soaking the floor beneath him with his tears. He gripped his hair, pulling on it, the grief slowly maddening him. His body started to tremble. "GOD DAMN IT!! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU?! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME?!"

Fumikage had also laid down on his side, holding himself. "I know I made the right choice ... BUT WHY ME?! I PROMISED HIM WE'D BECOME PROS TOGETHER AND NOW WE CAN'T!!"

The cries of grief continued for what felt like hours.

But as soon as they started, they stopped.

Sleep had overtaken Shihai, the venting of emotions through the song completely exhausting him.

The lack of sobs helped Fumikage recompose himself. He moved closer to Shihai, gently clasping his hands in his. "I meant what I said just before I died. I will always love you. And I promise to be here for you until the very end. I will be there to greet you when it's your time. Then we can be together for eternity. I promise."

I got misty-eyed writing this, OMFG-