the mystic and the water priestess

"Skirts and i do not work well!"

hello and welcome to a new chapter of what the fuck is this with the host you hate.

the one...

the only...

ARTSIE!!!!!

anyways, this chapter is kinda serious. so heres a warning;

body insecurities, slight mention of abuse/bad bullying so be warned if you dont like it please try to skip this chapter,  i dont want to make any of you uncomfortable but this week i did have an issue with feeling insecure during p.e. we have a giant rock climbing wall at my secondary school and i had to undo my harness all the way to get into it then some boys started laughing at me when i came down so i just thought to put awareness out id write this to maybe show what to do and what not to do with some people who are insecure :) i know that isnt that bad but it wasnt the first time they'd made fun of me for my weight. im not an average hight girl and im pretty fat, im really tall and heavy compared to the other girls in my year so yeah..

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ah yes the day after that miserable fail of a chemistry lesson! as a punishment from lauren i have to join the cheer leading team with her...which sucks because theres a reason i dont like skirts or crop tops; ive always been the biggest in my classes, weight wise and Hight wise and ive always been envious of lauren...she smaller then me and super skinny, she barely gets acne and shes super pretty, yet i look like an ogre got a brick thrown at their face, im just under 14 stone and im built like a guy. 

so as you could tell this punishment is going to be hell for me. as im in the changing room i hear a bunch of girls making fun of how i look and making fun of lauren, this makes the feeling in my stomach worse. quickly and quietly i slip out in the stupidly small uniform and go over to lauren. just as we were practising weird flips and shit a group of boys came in and started whistling at lauren and the other girls but when i waved to one of my friends behind them they started laughing and gagging. 

i tried to ignore them but they started getting closer and closer then started calling me things like dough girl and pillow person and just a bunch of fat joke names, this was making me feel even worse and especially when i tried doing a hand stand and my shirt went up, showing the stretch marks on my ribs. i ended up just grabbing my stuff and running away, crying under the bleachers out the back of the school.

i just sat there for the rest of the day then went straight home. it took lauren and her parents about a week to get me up and going again. i know it shouldnt get to me but the problem is just all the girls at my school are skinny and pretty, they all have super long brown or blonde hair and all i have it some flab and half black and blue hair but also in the past when my mother was around she would constantly call me lazy and fat and tell me i needed to get off of my fat ass, typical asshole mother stuff y'know..i did feel a little better when lauren got me and her matching stranger things hoodies but it still stung a bit y'know. i didnt even do anything to those guys i dont even know who they are but apparently the other cheerleaders did because when i walking into school the following monday there were a bunch of embarrasing pictures of the guys around the school.

alot of people were laughing and cheering at this but i just wanted to know who did it, alot of people were starting to think i did it as i walked through the halls to find my lockers, coincidentally bumping into Erica; who just turn around and sweetly smiled at me...weird..

"theres the girl i was looking for!" she spoke enthusiastically as she hugged me, gently yet firmly, shocking me as i thought she was rude as most of the other pupils had warned me of but yet she seemed sweet.

"uhh..morning? do you uhm..know who did all of this?" i asked as i adjusted my bag strap over my shoulder.

"that, infact, would be me and some of the other cheerleaders. we had to get some help from some nerdy guys to hack those idiots phone for the pictu-" 

before she could finish i knew who it probably would be so i started sprinting off to find those 'nerdy guys'. finding them in the only place they ever hang out at, the chemistry lab (typical right?) kicking open the door i yelled 

"you hacked into someones phone to get payback for me! you dont even know me!"

now i know this might be an over exaggeration and no point for yelling but me being me i dont like people worrying about me or doing things for me because it makes me feel weak but dont worry about that, in the future im going to work on it (STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL BUDDY!)

(this took longer then i thought to write for such little writing i started this on october fourth but it was kinda a hard one to write properly xD i hope you liked this!)