Juggling (Book Two)

It is Going to be a Long Night

“Tom!” Benedict yells into the apartment as he walks through the door. There is no response so he shouts again while shutting the door, “Tom!” He wanders around the living space and sticks his head into the kitchen, the nursery and the bedroom but still no Tom. “TW where are you?!” He hears a groan coming from the bathroom so he pushes open the door to reveal a wasted Tom on the floor. Ben can smell the alcohol from the doorway and the noises coming from his fiancé’s mouth are incoherent moans like he is in pain. “Oh Tom…” He trails as he falls to his knees and tries to lean Tom more steadily against the bath tub. His head is lolling back and forth as he is entering and exiting consciousness.

Earlier that day:

The infant Emmeline Rose bawling brings Tom to reality that his life is real and all the issues actually exist. Tom falls out of bed and trapes into the nursery where his beautiful baby lays in her cot. He wraps his hands around her and pulls her up into his arms; cradling her he feels her tiny, beating heart. He smiles down at her before kissing her, gently, on her small forehead. He loves her. He loves the soft touch of her very little hair, the way she smells, the feeling she gives to him but he just wishes it did not have to be this way. He wishes that Vanessa did not do all those horrible things so his daughter could see her mother. He wishes that she could be living just the other side of London and they could make an arrangement so they would both get to see their daughter. But this is not the case. “Is she seeing her mother today?” Benedict’s soft voice asks from the doorway and Tom nods reluctantly. “I am surprised that social services are letting her see her after the whole Darren thing.” Tom winces at his name and continues to hold his child in his arms. Almost like it is the last time he is going to. “Oh that reminds me, Elli has managed to organise a news blackout on the whole Darren situation so for once we get a bit of peace and quiet.” Tom nods again not saying a word. “Tom, are you alright?” Ben approaches Tom from behind and wraps a loving arm around him carefully.

“Can you take her today?” Tom croaks.

“Take her where? To see Vanessa?” Benedict questions and he nods shamefully. “Of course love. I am not sure Vanessa will be very happy about that but if you want me to then I will.” He smiles and plants a kiss on his lover’s cheek.

“Thank you.” Tom mumbles.

\~.~.~.~.~/

It is midday and Benedict has just left with Emmeline and Tom is alone. He is sitting on the sofa staring at a blank television wondering what he should do. He has so much to do but has very little will to do it. He sighs before pulling up his to do list on his phone:

+Discuss maternity pay with Elinor

+Talk to Darren about future plans

+Talk to Benedict about work (Thor 3 and Doctor Strange)

+Organise Emmy’s childcare with Nate

He exhales again as he scans the list at least five times. They should not be such difficult tasks but for Tom – especially at the moment – it seems a lot. He pockets the list and switches on the television; The SweetDevils is being shown on Film4. He lets his mind wonder back to the set of the film and remembers how miserable he was, not because of the film itself but because of everything else that was going on at the time also. He mentally promises himself not to let himself get into that kind of state again before flicking through the channels but a message that appears on his phone makes him crumble.

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Benedict waltzes into the room which holds Vanessa; he hates the fact that Emmeline’s social worker has to carry the young child in, it makes everything seem so formal. Vanessa has a new/temporary prison guard who is early fifties, with thinning hair. He looks like a very angry person. “Why are you here?” Vanessa spits when she sees Benedict.