Crusty Af

Chapter 4

The next day, Shigiraki and Kurogiri were playing cards. Ashikawa was out of bounds, searching the whole entire city for heads she and Venom can eat.

"Hey, I thought you were banned from going outside." Venom asked.

"He's pretty much scared of us now. Who knew All for One's son was afraid of Russians?" Ashikawa replied.

"I mean, the second you're drunk. It's pretty much fuck this shit I'm out in my case."

"Oh, don't be dramatic."

"Bitch, I ain't! I live inside you with you! The second you smell flammable, I'm yeeting myself out! I don't care if I die!"

"Drama queen."

"What about Tomura Shigiraki?"

"What about him?"

"Do you like him or is he a no go, Chef?"

"We're only acquaintances. You know I recently broke up with the asshole."

"Oh yeah. That cock sucker. Yeah, but I mean, Shigiraki is fine. He's got dem skills and he got that dick."

"How the fuck do you have info like that?"

"Honey, do you see me taking showers with you? Fuck no, I'd rather respect your privacy. I slither into Shiggy to get my skin washed. Anyway, it's not like it's my first time seeing your itty bitty titties."

"Oh, they're not that small. They're big enough to look real, unlike every celebrity that had plastic surgery on their milkers."

Ashikawa paused, seeing three middle school thugs, trying to mug another student. She smirked, before speaking to Venom.

"Jackpot!"

"Quick, get our meal!"

Ashikawa became Venom, running at full speed quietly. He was dangling over two of them, telling the mugged student to stay quiet. Then, one by one, the three bullies' heads came clean off. Venom came down, looking at the bullied boy in the eyes.

"We would spare you, but you us kill those bastards." Venom growled.

Without even a second to react, the bullied kid's head came clean off again. Venom quickly became Ashikawa. She walked away, heading back to the base.

"Right, you up for a drink?" Ashikawa asked.

"Haha! Fuck no." Venom responded.

"Oh, why not?"

"Bitch, are you dumb or deaf?! The second you are drunk, I might as well shoot myself in the ass!"

"You're being dramatic again."

Ashikawa walked in, seeing Shigiraki arguing with Kurogiri again.

"YOU'RE A FUCKING CHEATER! I BET YOU DON'T HAVE A FULL HOUSE!" Shigiraki yelled.

"Nope, I do." Kurogiri responded.

Kurogiri threw his cards to Shigiraki, seeing a full house of spades. Kurogiri pulled the jackpot towards his Phantom like body. Shigiraki gripped his hand on the glass, turning a shot glass to ash.

"Fuck sake, I lost to a grandpa." Shigiraki mumbled.

"I am not that old, Young Shigiraki. Wash ya mouth out." Kurogiri spoke.

"I'LL WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH BLEACH!"

"Don't fucking touch the bleach, I need it for my skin!" Ashikawa shouted.

Shigiraki and Kurogiri turned their heads to Ashikawa.

"Welcome back, Ms Ashikawa." Kurogiri announced.

"Let me guess, you won't lose your kidney today." Shigiraki said.

"Bingo. Anyway, I need a drink. Hit me with your strongest." Ashikawa replied.

"I have a 1947 Jack Daniel's." Kurogiri suggested.

"No Vodka? What about a whiskey?"

"No whiskey. I can do an espresso martini."

"Vodka Martini?"

"No vodka, as I said."

"Rum?"

"We are not pirates."

"Don't need to be a pirate to have a drink. What about a 1931 Bacardi?"

"We have a Bacardi, but not the 1931 edition."

"God, you guys suck. Is there anything you have?"

"We got beer-"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me? You don't even have the good shit! YA zab'yu tebya do polusmerti, yesli u tebya ne budet khotya by margarity!"

Shigiraki jumped out of his seat, running away. He gave Ashikawa the middle finger as he ran for the door.

"NOPE, NOT TODAY SATAN!" Shigiraki yelled.

Shigiraki slammed the door shut, locking the door and bolting it shut. Ashikawa turned to Kurogiri.

"Does he have something against me?" Ashikawa asked.

"Maybe tone down on the Russian a bit and maybe he'll hang around for more then five minutes without the urge to run away." Kurogiri spoke.

"Why is he afraid of me? We're not bad people, us Russians. I don't understand why people think we're scary."

"For the sake of my life, I won't answer the question."