Songs of the Past

Lovely

Zenitsu's fingers flew over the koto, strumming the sad melody to his next song.

This song was one of his oldest ones. As far back as his childhood. 

He smiled fondly at the nostalgia of the tones. Bittersweet and hopeful. A shy kind of hopeful.

His heart beat in time with his younger self to the cadence of the melody.

He took a deep breath.

"Thought I found a way...

Thought I found a way out.

But you never go away...

So I guess I gotta stay now."

Zenitsu hated that orphanage. The sounds there were toxic to his ears. The other children and the warden especially radiated the horrible noise. The warden cared nothing for him. A waste of pretty much everything was what she thought of him. Trash. And she treated him as such. She made him work, fed him only when she saw fit, yet wouldn't let him escape.

"Oh I hope someday I make it out of here.

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years.

Need a place to hide but I can't find one near.

Wanna feel alive outside, I can't fight my fear."

He was practically enslaved. He wanted to hide away from the violence. He wanted to escape. He needed to escape.

"Isn't it lovely

All alone.

Heart made of glass, my mind of stone.

Tear me to pieces

Skin to bone.

Hello welcome home.

Walking out of time.

Looking for a better place.

Somethings on my mind.

Always in my headspace."

He isn't kept there anymore. Yet all the venomous words that were thrown in his face there, poisoned his mind.
They echo constantly in his head. Saying he's not worth it, that he's a lost cause, just useless dirt. He can't help, but believe them. They're as real as the scars on his back.

"But I know someday I'll make it out of here.

Even if it takes all night or a hundred years.

Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near.

Wanna feel alive outside, I can't fight my fear.

Isn't it lovely

All alone.

Heart made of glass my mind of stone.

Tear me to pieces.

Skin to bone.

Hello welcome home."

His fingers slowed to a stop and he took in another deep breath.

His hands shook as he raised them to wipe the tears off his face.

He opened and closed his hands, flexing them in an effort to regain control.

He froze and glanced up at the door.

"I think I heard something shift behind it..." Zenitsu mumbled to himself, "I'm probably just paranoid."