Sincerely Yours | Enhypen

two

I felt extremely anxious as I stared up at the large school building in front of me. My grip on my backpack straps tightened. I saw students milling about on the front lawn, talking to each other and playing around. The tension in my shoulders built up as the seconds passed.

Eventually, I managed to swallow the nervous lump that had formed in my throat and made my way across the school grounds.

It was my first day at my new elementary school after my family and I moved to Seoul. The idea of having to leave my old friends behind and make new ones obviously didn't sit well with me, but I had no choice.

Thus here I was--a lonely, nervous, lost little girl in a new environment where everyone had their own friends except me. 

It would've been so much easier if everyone here was new too. Then I'd know that they were as friendless as me and would be eager to meet someone. But now, everyone had their own groups, their own people. They wouldn't welcome an outsider. 

After much wandering around and asking for directions from passing students, I finally found the principal's office. 

The principal was a really nice woman who explained to me the school rules and showed me to my classroom. Class was already in session when I got there. The principal left me in the hands of my new teacher, Mrs. Jang Eunbin, who smiled kindly at me.

I introduced myself in front of the class, my palms becoming sweaty as all eyes focused on me. 

"Thank you, Hyejin," Mrs. Jang said when I was done. She pointed to an empty seat in the middle. "You can sit over there." 

I rushed to my assigned desk, praying that people would stop looking at me. Mrs. Jang continued on with the lesson while I assessed my new seatmates. On my left sat a girl with long hair tied back into a sleek ponytail. A boy with a round face and sharp nose sat on my right. I wondered if I would become friends with either of them.

The second bell went off, signaling that it was time for lunch. Everyone rushed out of the room in a heartbeat until I was the only one left. 

I followed the other students to the cafeteria. The once silent hallways were suddenly filled with noise and loud chatter. I felt incredibly lonely as I watched the other students laugh and talk with one another. I longed for my best friends, Nahyun and Yewon. I sat alone during lunch as I didn't have enough courage to ask the other kids if I could join them. 

With nothing to do after I was done eating, I decided to take a walk in the school garden. The garden was alive with students running around and playing games while screaming and laughing loudly. 

A few kids zipped past me and one of them slammed into me. Hard. I fell to the ground and scraped both my knees. The accused yelled an apology before going after his friends without bothering to help me or to ask if I was alright, which I was not. Blood spilled from my wounds and I winced painfully. 

"Are you okay?" A boy crouched down beside me. It was my seatmate.

"Yes..." I muttered, but the pain in my face said otherwise.

"Don't worry, I have just the thing." He fished out a band aid from his pocket. It was bright yellow and decorated with rubber ducks. 

He placed the band aid over my wound and smoothed it over gently. "All better." He smiled, seemingly proud of himself. Dimples peeked out from either side of his cheeks.

"Thank you." I said as I stood up, brushing dirt from my skirt.

"You're the new student, right? Lee Hyejin?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm Yang Jungwon," he grinned, showing off his dimples once more. "I sit beside you in class, in case you didn't know." He extended his hand for a hand shake.

I shook his hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"Have you explored around the school yet? If not, I can give you a tour. We still have 30 minutes before the bell rings." 

This is it. I thought. I'm finally making a new friend.

I nodded, a little too eagerly. He clapped. "Okay then! Come on!" 

Ever since then, Jungwon and I had been inseparable. We spent every day together. Of course, I had made other friends too. But none were closer to me than Jungwon was. He was my best friend.

And my second crush. 

---

The time has finally come. I was about to graduate elementary school. The school had organized a party for everyone in my grade to celebrate our graduation. Many students were taking pictures together and talking one last time before we separate and probably never see each other again.

 I spent a lot of time with Jungwon, trying to make the most out of our last few hours together. We exchanged phone numbers but I knew that once we enter middle school, we would forget about each other entirely. I noticed that he seemed a little bit less cheerful than usual too. 

All too soon, the day was over and it was time to leave. Tears were shed amidst muffled goodbyes. Jungwon and I were silent for a long time as we stood beside each other, unable to bring ourselves to speak.

"I guess this is goodbye." I said, finally breaking the silence that hung between us. 

"Yeah." He turned to look at me, a forlorn look on his face. The face that I grew to trust and rely on. 

"I'll miss you." I said, desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.

Without warning, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a warm embrace. "I'll miss you too." He whispered.

The tears finally fell and I let them. I could hear him sob too. I had never seen or heard my ever-joyful friend cry before. I held him even tighter. 

Finally, we pulled away. He wiped his eyes with his jacket sleeve and gave me a dimpled smile. My heart clenched at the sight of it. How I loved that smile. 

"We'll still see each other after this, won't we?" He asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. I nodded with absolute certainty.

He held up his pinkie. "Let's always be friends no matter what. Promise?" 

I hooked his finger with mine. "Promise."

---

It had been months since our graduation party. I hadn't seen or heard from Jungwon since. We stopped talking a long time ago. The last text I sent him was still unread. In fact, it hadn't even been delivered. I assumed he must've changed numbers or gotten a new phone, which would explain why the message was still undelivered.

I thought about him a lot. I would replay our memories over and over again in my head, reliving the moments we spent together. I really liked him then and a part of me still did, even when so much time has passed. 

But I knew that it was nothing more than just a mere crush. I was just a kid then and elementary crushes were never meant to last anyway. I would never see him again. It was time to move on.

I remembered the letter I wrote to Sunoo the year before. The situation I was in at that time reminded me of my current situation with Jungwon. A wave of deja vu overcame me. It seemed only fitting that I wrote a letter to Jungwon too, like I did for Sunoo. 

So I sat down at my desk, ballpoint pen in hand and began to write. Then I slipped the paper into a blue envelope and added it into the box with the other letter.