Leaving New York

Chapter 6

The following day, I watched Henry as he slept. After a while, I got up, scratched my nuts, took a piss. When I got back, Henry was sitting up.

"How did you sleep?"

"Some."

I patted him on the shoulder. He grabbed me, pulling me on top of him.

"Henry! What are you doing?"

"Hold me, man." He wrapped his bear claws around my waist and pulled me tight.

"Henry!"

"I'm not gay, I just ..."

I extracted myself from his strange embrace then moved to my bed staring at him. I looked at my phone; Carlos had just written, "stay with Henry today—he' a little unstable." Finally, after the longest day in history with Henry pouting all day, Lars, Marisio, and I played poker with my roommate. I loved how the guys were willing to keep Henry company. Eventually, everyone left; I took a shower, and Henry fiddled with a Rubik's cube.

I pulled on some pajamas because of the cold, then turned to Henry, "You, okay?

"Yeah." I was too exhausted to talk; I turned off the lamp over my bunk.

"I'm sleepy Henry, you mind turning off your light?"

"No."

After what must have been an hour or two, I heard Henry yelling, "Help me! Help me!"

I sat up in bed. "What's wrong?"

"Everything!" Then he started screaming at the top of his lungs. "Help!"

"You're going to wake everyone up!" What could I do? I didn't want to get into the hugging thing again. I had to find Carlos or the Captain. All of a sudden, I heard banging on the door, then Carlos entered.

"What the hell is going on?"

Henry screamed, "I want to die, I want to die! Nothing works out! Nothing!"

Carlos somewhat callously said, "You're going to be okay."

"No, I won't!"

"Henry, just think about right now."

"Jack!!! Help me!!!"

I wanted to comfort him, but my mind raced--why was I traveling? I wanted a Robinson Crusoe Adventure, not days nursing a psych patient.

I said to Carlos, "Maybe if we get him into the fresh air." Then I whispered, "He needs medication."

Carlos looked at me, "I'll see what I can do," and left. Henry kept yelling. I thought about giving him some of my depression meds, but I only had enough to get to France.

Carlos came back, "Henry, keep the yelling down. Take a walk with Jack on deck—there's a pretty moon."

Henry rocked back and forth on the bed, crying. Carlos vanished after I finally got Henry to stand up.

"C'mon, let's get some air." We walked out on the deck as he screamed, "I want to die!" There was a First Quarter moon in a cloudless sky.

"Henry, maybe you can tell me a little more about yourself."

"Fuck you! I just want to die!"

He threw his crutches into the churning Atlantic then grabbed the guard rail. I was terrified he might jump. "Buddy, come back over here away from the railing."

"I want to jump—I'll do it!" I grabbed his arm, but he yanked it away then swung a leg over the railing.

"No, Henry!" As he pulled his other leg over, I grabbed his midsection, yanking him backward. We fell in a pile on the deck then he jumped up to try again. I shoved myself between him and the railing; all I could think to do was punch him in the face as hard as I could. He fell back on the wooden deck, stunned but not unconscious. I noticed a coil of rope hanging on a nail, so I grabbed it, looping it around his hands.