Leaving New York

Chapter 8

When I took my lunch break, skateboard Jimmy popped in my head. I'd left several messages and called the skateboard shop but heard nothing. It was stupid to try to be so close with a guy twenty years younger and straight. But it hurt he didn't call me back. After washing dishes for the hundredth time, I wiped down the counters then went to the cabin, hoping to find Henry. He was folding freshly laundered clothes folks donated.

"Hey, buddy. Been doing the washing?"

"Yeah."

I suddenly had a weird feeling Jimmy was standing next to Henry. Two big strong men I liked. Men who sucked the energy out of me. Dave, my friend at the fire station, was stable; Jimmy and Henry weren't. I took a shower then plopped on the bed, grabbing a copy of "Catcher in the Rye." I pretended to read it while I watched Henry out the corner of my eye lay on his bunk staring at the ceiling.

"How was the engine room?"

"Good. There's a fucked-up rocker arm, but we'll fix it."

"What is a rocker arm?"

"It's a rocking lever in an engine. It's connected to a pushrod from the camshaft.

"Wow. It sounds like you know your stuff."

"I ain't never worked on a big ship before, but Pru and Danny are showing me."

"Danny?"

"Yeah, I apologized for freaking out at him."

"Good for you, buddy—I'm proud of you." He looked over, smiling at me—the first smile I remember.

I said, "Didn't you say something about a guy who taught you about engines?"

"Donny."

"Oh, that's right. We don't have to talk about it."

"It's okay. We did everything together when I was in high school. Donny was a senior; I was a sophomore. We went swimming at Lake Heath, bowling a million times, worked on his old Ford Galaxy 500."

"Sounds like a cool guy."

"Yeah," I remembered something about him dying; Henry had a good day—I didn't want him to disintegrate.

"What else did you do today?"

"Checked a messed-up boiler—it needs rebuilding."

"She's an old lady, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What did you do today, Jack?"

"Just the usual except Wolf showed me how to make Bethmännchen--pastry made from marzipan. Delicious—we'll have some tomorrow."

"Jack, can you hold me again? You like guys-- I can tell. Donny did stuff with me."

"I'm sleepy, Henry. You need to go to sleep too."

We turned our lights out, and I laid there bug-eyed.