Going Home With Harry Potter

Chapter 12: The Order Of The Phoenix

The cleaning was a nightmare.

The whole bloody house was a nightmare, Harry decided. It was dark and dusty and right miserable.

But he would almost prefer it over the argument everyone was having currently. About half of the Order, plus the minors, were all sitting around the dining table shouting at each other. Sirius wanted to involve Harry in the Order's business (something Harry also wanted very much), but Molly was vehemently against it - saying that he was too young and not even in the Order. The second point was a bit redundant since the whole point of the argument was to get him in the Order, but nobody pointed it out.

Harry could feel the unsettling rage that had died out earlier coming back with fervour. It was scary that, despite how unfamiliar the emotion was, it felt natural.

The yelling reached a point where Harry could hear no words. It was all just mindless hollering, no one was willing to listen to anyone else, all desperate to prove their point. It reached a point where Harry felt like he could snap.

He slammed his fist down on the table and a gust of air got sent in all directions, effectively shutting everyone up and sending the napkins flying. He took a few deep breaths, trying to dispel the rage. It wouldn't fare well to let it get the better of him.

"I don't get how keeping me in the dark is what's best for me. I would've thought that keeping me informed and educated would let me make better decisions, since everyone here is worried about how stupidly I act." He said, sarcasm dripping from every last word.
"Especially how you've all but left me alone for the last month, stewing in my own trauma. I think that I'd know what is best for me since I'm used to dealing with stuff like this alone! I'll be honest, the only reason I'm probably not as mad as I could be is because I had someone with me in that house during the last month."

A few people tensed, but Harry's friends shot him understanding looks.

"I had Draco bloody Malfoy in ferret form with me during half the summer. He woke me up from my night terrors, he walked on my face once to break me out of a panic attack! He got fur in my mouth! He let me pet him for Merlin's sake! Even Malfoy understood how terrible my mental state was, and yet you all left me there in the midst of my spiral. How do you know that Voldemort won't take advantage of my lack of knowledge? Won't take advantage of my declining mental health? That's right, you don't. So insulting each other because none of you are competent when it comes to children is not something I want to listen to. Except for you Remus, you're fantastic."

Remus gave Harry a strained smile at that and Sirius seemed to choke on his own spit. All of the adults were silent. Fred, George, Ginny and Ron all looked to be holding in a large amount of laughter and Hermione just looked shocked.

"Well." Mrs Weasley said curtly. "We will talk about this later."

Harry's godfather grinned at him from behind his cup and rolled his eyes. Harry smiled back and looked at his plate. Ron, who'd sat beside him, was putting food on it to make sure that Harry had a normal amount. It made him feel warm inside; despite how difficult Harry was sometimes, Ron always had wellbeing in mind - having been one of the few to see the conditions he lived in. Well. Almost always. The hiccup in fourth year didn't really count.

The rest of dinner was fine, a bit quiet and tense but still better than the alternative. Afterwards when it was just the trio in the boys' room, Hermione and Ron rounded on him.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"What was what about?" Harry asked in lieu of an answer.

"You know what, the magic burst and the rant."

He shuffled in his seat at the desk. "Oh. Was the magic burst the gust of air I created? I don't know what that was about, I just felt angry again and it scared me because I couldn't hear anything over the noise. So I just... hit the table, I guess." He shrugged, not meeting their eyes.

"And the rant?"

Harry stayed silent and turned his head away from them.

Ron came to his rescue though, reaching and putting his hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to mate. Just make sure you do when you're ready, yeah?"

Harry nodded, smiling up at his best friend. "Yeah, I will. Someday." His smile faded and he looked away again.

"Well," Ron started. "How was it having Malfoy stay with you? I kinda forgot you turned him into a ferret."

The green eyed boy grinned again. "He was kinda annoying sometimes but when he realised my relatives would probably kill him, he was actually good company. As I said before, he helped me out a lot during the bad days."

Ron nodded. "Good to hear he wasn't a pain in the arse. We're sorry we weren't there for you Harry. If we felt like we could then we absolutely would have." His expression had softened and it released the ball of tension that had been growing in Harry's chest. He didn't know why Ron was able to calm him down so well, he supposed that it was because his best friend was the most emotionally intelligent of the three of them.

Harry and Hermione were shockers when it came to emotions. Hermione was too inversed in facts and knowledge to really give much thought to other people's emotions, so she often felt awkward during emotional displays. Harry was emotionally stunted because of his childhood but he was also naturally empathetic, so it caused him a lot of distress not being able to express his heightened emotions properly. Ron, however, grew up in a home that loved him and with people that taught him how to love. Yes Ron was also awkward sometimes (more because he didn't know what to do with himself), but he knew more about bonding with people.

"It's alright. Now that I know what I do, I know you would have." Harry replied. "But make no mistake: Draco was most definitely a pain in the arse. He jumped on my bed and got fur everywhere! He'd have these like conversations with Hedwig too, they'd bob up and down and start squeaking when I was trying to nap! I couldn't even yell at them to shut up because we had to be quiet."

While he was ranting again, Harry missed the raised eyebrows at the use of Draco's first name. Hermione and Ron dismissed it though, in favour of laughing at the various hijinks that Malfoy the Great Flying Ferret got up to in the muggle residence.

They'd have a blast teasing him over the next year.

Posted: 4th Feb 2022