Is love overrated? Can it be above me? Don't I matter? Do I need someone to complete myself? Can't I be complete myself? Cant I be content with what I have and whom I have? Well, I'm in a good space now anyway.
But then that happened.
Find yourself...
Its been three weeks since Shivani's wedding and one week since I joined my new job. I'll officially take charge as the Regional Head of HR for House of Areem in three months' time. Mr. Shekar Shwkawat, who is being transferred to Amsterdam now is doing my knowledge transfer. After being in an IT company, the practices here seem a bit different, but the core remains the same. In short, I'm loving the way how my career is taking shape.
Shivani had called me after a week when she was getting ready for her honeymoon. She had loved my gift. I had personally designed a pearl multistrand necklace for her, a design from one of my collections. I'm not a fan of wearing too much jewelry, but I love single statement pieces, not just wearing them, I wanted to create them as well and that gave birth to Elegance, a brand that specializes in statement jewelry, my first baby. We don't have a physical presence as of now and use the various online platforms available along with our website.
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Shivani's call made me remember the encounter with my so-called schoolmates. It just made my belief stronger on the saying some people can never change. And Aman, I honestly don't know what went into his head. He was shocked as if he saw his own clone out of nowhere. But that's understandable. It's not every day that you see that one person whom you have ruined completely, broken their trust, and betrayed standing in front of you in full, regardless of what you did to them. Shock I understand, but when the shock subsided a bit, was that something akin to pain that flashed in his eyes. I don't know. And honestly, I don't care, or so I think.
I haven't got to think about Shivani or the happenings at her wedding much after that, for as soon as I returned, I had the long overdue family trip with my mom, dad, and brother and it was one of the best family times, though it wasn't any exotic location abroad, but better than all my experiences in such locations so far. That's the magic of family I realize now. Being with them itself makes everything special. Post which I joined my new job, which is quite demanding obviously. But Im loving it. But in all this while, maybe I can lie to others that I didn't think of him. But how could I lie to myself that I've not been anticipating his reaction knowing about me, what would his thoughts be? I should be a fool to think all this even when I clearly know he wouldn't give a fuck about me or maybe have already forgotten me and then lie to myself that everything is alright and I've forgotten him too. And I'm just exactly being that fool, for now, trying to coax myself. But who can deny the ultimate truth, that I can neither forget him nor forgive him.
AR Fashion House, Delhi
Arnav
It's been two weeks since I resumed work. Three weeks since Di's wedding. The phase 1 report about Shyam Manohar Jha has turned positive. The family has still not accepted the wedding, and I'm not sure how long will it take or will they accept it or not. Had it been a month ago, I would have expected Di to return to the family in a few hours, requesting, cajoling, and what not to take her back. But now I know better. Di is not what we thought her to be. She is not that fragile doll, who cries at the blink of an eye, but that confident woman who has seen enough in life, who knows what she wants from life and how to plan for it. She can be aggressive when she wants to be and executes it with such calm.
She is much more clear in her thoughts and action, compared to me, who boasts of building such a big empire. Now I know, it wasn't just me, but luck, my family, employees, and maybe even God, like what Di, Nani, and Mami say. For in spite of handling a billion-dollar business, I have failed miserably in recognizing people and had messed up our business royally when my personal life interfered in it.
Had not been for Aakash or Mama's timely intervention I don't know what would have happened. On the professional front, things are a bit better, the fallen stock price of AR has not completely risen, but slowly making a steady comeback, all thanks to the marketing campaigns and press meets organized by our PR team, headed by Aakash. I was on bed rest for the first week after Di's wedding and our return from London, and now though I've resumed work, I'm not actively involved in all the discussions as of now, even though my face is used as the face of the campaign. But that has to change. I have to start making public appearances soon. But I feel I'm still not in the right frame of mind for it.
My family and also my employees I realize have been a great pillar of support with a pang. But there is this one person who hasn't spoken to me in these three weeks. Aman Mathur, my business partner, colleague, well wishes, friend, family, mentor, and brother. Though I have all of these relationships in my life separately as well, I'm one hell of a lucky bastard to have all of these in one single person, who has been with me ever since my childhood, right from school.
The word school leaves a sour taste in my tongue, after whatever happened. But it still feels bittersweet because of that one person. Talking of school, we had planned to attend an old schoolmate's wedding and I was looking forward to it more than anyone, even more than Aman, who was in touch with most of our schoolmates unlike me. I was super excited to flaunt my fiance, the love of my life. What irony! Was it even friendship let alone love is what I feel when I think of it now.
But leaving all that aside, the fact is that I couldn't attend the wedding, but Aman and Paakhi attended the wedding and I know it. But what's surprising here is that, neither Aman nor Paakhi has spoken to me directly after that. I know Aman had called a couple of times and spoken to Aakash, and had told him that he would not be available for a couple of weeks due to some personal emergency, and asked to contact him if there's a dire need of him.
Everything about this is abnormal. Firstly, Aman never keeps any problem to himself, he is that type, who speaks to his well-wishers and takes a well-informed decision. And he's not the one to take such a long break and that too he hasn't spoken to me even once about it and to top it all he has extended his absence without any prior information, especially when nothing is right in my personal or professional life. Its not that he needs to take permission from any of us, its just that he's not the type to simply vanish like this.
Im just simply too worried for him. He has not called me and I don't feel like giving a call as well. I decide to meet him after office today, straight at his home. Something is not right, my gut says.
