Into the unknown

Chapter 13.

Standing in front of the rack of clothes, in a matching white underwear set, I used my index finger and thumb to slide each hanger across as I searched for something to wear. As I looked through the many items of hanging clothes, there was one similar feature on every single item – flowers. All of the clothes in front of me had some kind of floral print on them. Every time I saw Cristian, he was dressed up in a suit, which had some type of floral pattern on it. What was his obsession with flowers?

Not that it bothered me, I loved flowers. I was fascinated by how they opened up and developed such beautiful petals, using the simple and natural things in life, sunlight and water. The simple things made a beautiful creation. I had always dreamed that someone would knock on my door with a beautiful bunch of flowers, like they did in the movies. But that was all it was, a dream. Girls like me were not destined to have their lives play out like a beautiful movie.

When Timothy Jacobs asked me to prom, at the innocent age of sixteen, I was over the moon. People rarely spoke to me in school, because they knew Darren was my step-father and they feared him, but Timothy plucked up the courage to ask me. It wasn't anything spectacular or over the top, it was a simple hand-written note, on a tattered piece of lined paper, that he managed to slip in my school bag. The lack of spectacle didn't even bother me, I was just happy to have been asked.

The weeks in the run up to prom, I imagined, or rather obsessed over, what it would be like. Would he turn up on my doorstep with a bunch of flowers, or a single rose, or maybe a corsage? Whatever it was going to be, I was feeling giddy just thinking about someone gifting me a flower. But the gift never came. The prom never came. The movie-like scene never came.

Darren, somehow, convinced my mother that I shouldn't go to prom. I remember seeing Timothy in school the day before and having to break the bad news to him, he was angry that he would now have to go to prom dateless, but I was just heartbroken that I couldn't have a day to dress myself up like a princess and dance the night away, even if would have been on my own for most of the night.

Here, though, I had Cristian, who make me look beautiful and dressed me in such stunning floral clothes, which was the closest thing I have ever had to receiving flowers from someone. Today, however, I didn't have the assistance of him, I hadn't seen him since last night. Either my near-psychotic breakdown had scared him off or he was busy with other things. I really hoped that it was the latter.

After finally decided on an outfit, I took it off the hanger and shimmed my body into it. It was a cream coloured playsuit, the leg holes floating around my mid-thigh. Dotted around on the material were large, light brown flowers, with leaves and branches trailing away from them. The top of the playsuit circled around the top of my biceps and the sleeves clung down my arm, ballooning out at my elbows. Down the middle were small keyholes, trailing from the neckline down to my waist, where the playsuit was elasticated, making it show off the shape of my waist.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I became a little self-conscious, the bruises, which were slowly healing, that Darren had caused me where visible on my thighs, making me cringe. However, this was the first step. By hiding the marks Darren had caused me, it meant that I was still scared of him and I didn't want that anymore. It was a small step, but I knew it needed to be done.

I tied my hair back in a low and loose pony tail, applied some lip balm to moisten my lips and slipped my feet into a pair of off-white slippers, before leaving the room. I decided against putting any make-up on, knowing that I would just be in the house all day and that I could never apply it as well as Cristian could.

Racking my brain, I tried to retrace the same route I had been taken down over the past few days, my slippers smacking against the floor as I walked. A smile found its way to my mouth as I found my way to the kitchen, seeing an elderly woman stood in there.