chapter four (stages)

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"Hello?" the familiar voice says.

"Hey, Austin?"

"y/n?" he says, sounding surprised, "oh my gosh. How are you? Long time no talk."

I laugh. I hope he doesn't catch that it doesn't sound the same as it used to.

~just want to say that this is not the loh austin.. i just picked a random name while writing the first story! enjoy!!~

"Yeah," I say.

"Is everything alright?'' he sounds worried, of course he can tell something's wrong. We were best friends for years.

"Yeah, listen," I start out, "Are you free? Like right now?"

"For you?" he laughs, "Of course,"

Austin and I were best friends. I was best friends with that entire smp. I loved streaming there. All of them have stopped that smp and have started another, but I wasn't invited.

There was no hurt feelings in the matter. My new fanbase wasn't always the nicest when I streamed with them, so I never did stream.

Of course, that meant I talked to them less. I didn't cut all communication off, though. I catch up with all of them on a regular basis.

Austin was probably surprised that I called him, since I always just use discord. He was probably even more surprised when I asked to hang out. We had only ever met up a couple times.

I walk up to his door. I knock. It sounds kind of dry.

He swings the door open, "y/n!" he says, "come on in."

I walk in. I can tell he rapid-cleaned his apartment.

"Are you sure your not busy? We can reschedule." I say.

"Of course not," he motions for the couch, "Sit down, lets catch up."

I sit down. We do the basic catch up that everyone does. I find that the older I get, then the more of these I tend to have.

After a while he seems to notice that somethings off.

"What's wrong, y/n?" he asks softly, interrupting his own story about some bagel shop.

I take a deep breath. This is Austin. He's always there for you. You can tell him.

"I know somethings wrong. C'mon, what's up?" he says.

"It's just that, uh," I bury my head into my hands. I can do this.

I take another deep breath, looking out from my hands, "Alex and I broke off our engagement,"

That was the first time I officially told anyone with words. That was the very first time I said it out loud.

It did not feel good.

"Oh, I am so, so sorry." Austin moves to give me a hug.

I bury my face in his shoulder.

"He's at the apartment right now. He's getting his stuff. I couldn't be there, Austin, I couldn't." I'm crying now, just like I have since it happened.

"What happened?" he asks as he breaks off the hug.

I adjust in my seat for a second. "Well, we got in an argument, and just, like, for the past couple months, we've been growing apart. I guess last night was a breaking point." I shrug, trying to stop my body from shaking. "So I gave him my ring and he slammed the door."

"Wow," he says, taking it all in, "And it's done for good?"

"Pretty much," I lean back in my chair, "he said if he's going to walk out the door, then it's over, so I told him to not forget the ring."

"You did not," his mouth pops open a little bit.

I bury my head in my hands. "I did."

"Well, it's okay. You seem to be going through the stages of grief right now-"

"Oh, I've been through those already, just during the relationship." I put one finger up. "One: Denial. I denied that anything was wrong with us. Two: Anger. That's been the past couple weeks of my life. And three. Depression." I motion all around us.

"That means the next is acceptance, then, right?" he asks, nudging me jokingly.

"No, because I don't want to accept it. I don't want to go home to an empty apartment. Because that means it's final, and it can't be that. I don't want that to happen." I say, sniffing.

"That sounds like denial," Austin says quietly.

"Maybe I'm restarting, I'm not sure." I laugh a little.

Austin shakes his head, "no, you're going to get through this."

"What if I don't want to get over him?" I ask quietly, "What if I'm not ready to say goodbye?"

"Then suck it up, I guess." he shrugs, "There are plenty of other men out there."

I scrunch up my nose. "I don't want them."

"Well, apparently you don't want Alex either," he rolls his eyes at my stubbornness, "but if you do think you might've made a mistake," Austin says, "just remember that what will be will be."

I don't think I made a mistake. Alex and I weren't working out. We needed a break to settle our differences. We just decided to make it permanent.

I know I made the right choice even though it's not the one that made me happy right now.

Alex and I were not in a good relationship.

It wasn't always bad, though. We just had a falling out, and it seemed that there was no falling back in. Although I wish there was.

I take a deep breath, "I'll remember that."

Austin and I talk until it's dark. I'm positive Alex won't be there.

Austin walks me to my car. "Thanks for coming. It was nice catching up," he says.

"Yeah, I'm kinda glad I made that spontaneous call."

"Well, you should make it more often," he shrugs.

"I will," I turn to get into the car.

He stops the door from closing. "y/n? Are you going to be alright by yourself?" he asks, sounding very concerned.

I give him a little smile, "Of course, I'll be fine."

"Okay then," he looks relieved, "goodnight."

"Night."

I most definitely will not be fine.

author's note:

sooo many of you guys guessed it right!

i'm really excited for tomorrow's chapter tehe

have a great day :))

word count: 1016

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