Oneshot Compilation

Desperate

Trigger warning: mention of blood and violence.

Under the moon, beneath billions of twinkling stars, there stood me... with the man I love the most beside the seashore, breathing the salty air, and embracing the cold breeze of December.

Anong ginagawa niya dito? I didn't expected him to be here especially at this hour, even though this was our favorite spot. I didn't call him or messaged him. He just suddenly showed up in the dark, like it wasn't a big deal. Na parang hindi ako magugulat o matatakot sa biglaan niyang pagpapakita.

Pero then again, napagisipan ko na baka he just stopped by dahil alam niyang madalas akong maglakad dito bago matulog. I smiled at that thought.

What if may surprise siya? Ang sweet naman kung ganun.

Nakangiti akong lumapit sakaniya at pinakita yung hawak kong rosas na galing sakaniya kaninang umaga. I was about to hug him ngunit napatigil ako kaagad ng magsalita ito.

"I'm breaking up with you." he said in a cold voice. "You're useless anyway..."

Unti-unting napawi yung mga ngiti ko. Naghintay ako ng ilang segundo, umaasang sasabihin niyang biro lang ito, ngunit lumipas ang ilang minuto wala parin ito ibang sinabi kundi iyon.

I stood there together with the white rose on my hand and listened carefully to the gentle rushing of waves. Napadiin ang hawak ko sa bulaklak, hindi ko namalayan dumudugo na pala yung kamay ko. I've forgotten that roses had thorns.

And exactly like the thorns, his words hurt like hell.

Inaamin ko, nanghina ako sa mga sinabit nito, lalo na yung mga tuhod ko ngunit pinilit ko parin tumayo ng maayos. Wala akong pagsasandalan at wala akong makapitan. May mangyayari ba kung babagsak ako sa buhangin ngayon? Sasabihin ba niya na nagbibiro lang siya kung ipapakita kong lubos akong nasasaktan ngayon? Kung oo. I am more than willing to do it, I would even beg for him to say it was just a joke.

"Why?" I bit the inside of my cheecks. "This is a joke r-right? Joke lang ito d-diba?" hinawakan ko ang magkabilang kamay nito at lumuhod sa buhangin. "Hindi ba sinabi mo mahal mo a-ako? Sinabi mo sakin hindi mo ulit ako sasaktan..."

Umiling ito at marahas na tinanggal ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa mga kamay nito.

Napayuko ako. "You said you would never leave me." bulong ko, sapat na para marinig niya ito.

He didn't answer my question, he didn't say a word, he just stared at me with no expression drawn on his face.

"I gave you my trust. I believed in your words, especially when you said that I shouldn't worry about your-" I stopped for a second and clenched to the end of my dress." Y-Your friend."

"She isn't my friend. Not anymore." nanlaki yung mga mata ko sa sinabi nito.

Nagulat ako dahil sa wakas sa ilang taon namin relasyon ngayon lang niya nagawang sabihin ang tutoo. I've caught him many times with other women. He cheated thousands of times, but he never told me the truth even though it was already in front of my face.

Marami na sa mga kaibigan ko ang nagsabing iwan ko na siya dahil uulitin lang niya yung mga kasalanan na nagawa niya sakin. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na tama nga sila. He is a selfish piece of sh*t and I was stupid. I was stupid for taking him back, for giving him chances, and for letting him break my heart.

I knew very well that he was a walking red flag but I still welcomed him in my heart. They were right when they said that the people you love the most are the people who will hurt you the most. They can be the antidote but also the poison in our lives.