SBI One shots (mostly angst and fluff)

Scars Do Tell

WARNINGS: SELF HARM, BAD SELF IMAGE, FEAR, FLAMES

CHARACTERS: PHILZA, TECHNOBLADE, TOMMYINNIT, AND WILBER SOOT

"speaking"
'thoughts'

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POV: Tommy

I didn't really feel normal today, I didn't know what it is but it's like all the energy has been drained out of me. I lay in bed, my mind on nothing really I just felt empty, I let my long arms silently rest by my side as I felt myself crying. I was so confused, I wasn't feeling sad, angry, or even tired. I just felt emptyness.

   I continued to silently cry as my mouth didn't bother to let out a sob, or even a breath at this point. I craved the feeling of sadness, of anger, of happiness, of pain, of anything. I just want to feel things again.

   I slowly sit up taking into consideration how numb all of my body felt. It reminds me of rain, no thunder, no noise, just the occasional pitter patter as it hit any surface.

   Knowing I had to feel something, anything, I swing my legs over the edge of my bed seeing my feet hit the cold floor but not feeling anything, that just bugged me more. I tried so, so many things to get me to feel any emotion. I tried to watch a sad video, no sadness, I tried to watch a happy video, no happiness. I just silently cried as I stared at my alarm clock that read

2:30am Tuesday, October 10th, 2021

   I sighed trying to stand up immediately regretting it as my legs failed to work my body crumbling to the ground. I gave up on walking and decided what to try to do to feel something. I messed around with all my personal belongings in my drawer when I eventually came across a lighter that I had gotten two years ago, I found it on the concrete and it looked cool so I took it home and have been holding on to it ever since.

   I let out a shakey breath as I went through all my options, this seemed to be the most logical one. I held the lighter close to my hand and lit it watching the flames beam with color, I immediately felt better as the heat seemingly danced towards my hand. I took a breath in and quickly ran the flames across my hand.

   Suddenly I felt it, I felt everything. I felt the cold hardwood floor on my skin, the pain in my knees from falling, the tears trickling down my cheek, and most importantly, the raging pain that immerged from my hand.

   Normally in a situation like this I would be crying to Dadza about the pain but instead of feeling dread, I felt pure happiness. I finally found a cure to my neverending emptiness.

This continued for 6 days, every night before he went to bed he would start to feel empty and the process would restart.

POV: Technoblade

   It was around 3:30am when I went down stairs for a quick coffee, this night I had went to edit a video and accidentally lost track of time, I just said fuck it and decided to pull an all nighter. It's not like it would be the first time, definitely not the last though that's for sure. I decided to just stay downstairs and think while drinking coffee to calm down my senses.

   I started thinking and it was not long before my thoughts wandered to the topic of my family. I thought about Phil, he seemed more tired lately, staying up late making potions and armor. Will seems to be zoning off a lot more along with spending more time in his room. Tommy, I hate to admit it but I was very concerned for him, I know how poor his self image is. He's constantly staring down at himself and he even got gloves to cover his hands up.

   I sigh setting down my coffee mug and then walking up the stairs, I needed to check on them to put my mind at ease. I showed up at Phil's door, slowly pushing it open to see him fallen asleep on a crafting table, he had things surrounding him. I cursed to myself as I lifted him up and carried him over to his bed gently placing him down in fear that I was going to wake him. I sighed to myself for the second time as I picked up his stuff setting it all on the crafting table making sure everything was neat.

   I closed his door behind me silently satisfied with the small barley audible click coming from the door as it was now shut all the way.

   I walk to Will's room opening the door with a small creak. He's in his bed scrolling through Twitter. I walk up to him and he looks at me and says "oh hey Techno, what are you doing up?" I give him a smile "I could ask you the same thing." He sighs patting the bed next to him signaling for me to sit with him.

   I make my way over to his bed sitting down lightly. "Hey Techno?" He says, his face filling with dread "Yeah?" I reply. "Do....you think I'm ugly?" I look at him sadly, now I knew the problem he's been facing. I reply "you know I don't, I think you look very nice. Do you think you're ugly?" He looks back at his phone and says quietly "I do, I just wanna be as good looking as everyone else."

   I pull him into a small hug, physical contact isn't really my cup of tea but I'll get through it for my family any day. "Hey Will guess what." I smile "yes Techbro?" I giggled softly at the nickname he gave me.
" I think you Tommy and Phil are the coolest out of everyone, don't tell dream that though, he might get jealous." I said, Will smiled at me, it was a genuine smile and that made me happy.

   "Alright, thanks for that Techbro but I think I should get to sleep you should as well." "Yeah yeah, I will try right after I check on Tommy." I reply. I get up and walk back out of his room making sure to close his door quietly. What I said in there wasn't really a lie, I did think of him Tommy and Phil as the best on the server, I just never really express it.

   I walk down the hall soon reaching the last door, I had my hand on the door nob when I heard a thud from inside which it made me more obliged to open the door. I pushed open the door and saw Tommy on the ground leaning up against the bed with a lit lighter being held on his hand.

   "Tommy what the hell are you doing?!" I whisper yell, careful not to wake the others. I rush over to him and pull the lighter out of his hands throwing it to the floor beside me. Tommy just looked up at me with lifeless eyes.

   "Techno, I can't feel anything, I'm so numb, I just want to feel something. Please give me it back." My heart broke. "Tommy.." I couldn't even think of a sentence so I pulled tommy into a tight hug, he didn't try to hug back so I just sat there embracing him.

   "Tommy you don't always need pain to feel something. Trust me.." he glances up at me in disbelief, now I could see his face more clear I saw the tears running down his face. He looked back down "how would you know, I can't believe you. This has been going on for almost a week now but everytime I try something different it doesn't work." I sigh, knowing that I have to show him for him to be convinced.

   I pull up my pant leg earning a shocked expression from Tommy, my leg was littered with scars some looked older than the others but they were all old. "Tommy listen, you don't have to feel pain to feel something, there's other ways." Tommy just looked at me with sympathy as I pulled him into a hug. This time though he hugged back....

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