Strangers▪ Matei Covaci imagine

Twenty Six

As I stand now, back to the front door, staring at the house of carnage which I've just entered, it's hard to believe that only two hours ago Matei and I were sitting peacefully on a garden wall. The cool winter breeze has been traded for sweaty air with a million scents, the soft and soothing voice is replaced by thumping house music which pulses at my temples, and I miss the comforting arm around my shoulders when I realise how many total strangers there are here. I don't think having Matei here would be much help at all, but at least we would be suffering together.

I had absolutely no intention of coming to this party, but Katrina was insistent that I go out and "have a fab night, y/n, you deserve it!".

"Honestly, it'll do you good to let your hair down" she said, frantically pulling apart her wardrobe, trying to find something I could both fit in and not possibly ruin. I sat on her bed silently, cursing at the text which had arrived a few minutes before:

Ari: heyyy, r u coming to Hannah's tonight? We miss u xxx

I felt bad, because I hadn't given Ari or any of the others a single thought since I'd stopped hanging out with them. I thought they had forgotten me too, but apparently not. Nevertheless, I am now navigating my way down Hannah's hallway, already sweating in an ill-fitting red faux-silk mini dress. Several intoxicated boys have spotted me already, the amount of aftershave and deodorant clinging to their bodies making me feel even more sick. I decide to move into the kitchen, where I find Aria and Hannah, who are both quite drunk.

The girls shriek with joy when they see me.

"Oh my GOD, look at you! Where have you been, girl?" Aria exclaimes. She hands me a cup which I thoughtlessly take a sip from. It's actually nice, some kind of fruit punch, but when I ask what it is she simply laughs and hugs me. She smells of cheap perfume and vodka.

"Where do you think, Ari?" Hannah says, smoothing out her tight ponytail, "I told you, only a matter of time until this one gets a bae."

Aria rolls her eyes and starts making another cup, motioning for me to finish the first one she gave me. "Good for you, honestly. I knew you could do better than Charlie..."

"I mean, that's not exactly difficult." I add. The two laugh, a bit too hysterically.

"True! So, who is he?" Hannah asks.

Before I answer, a group of girls enter the kitchen. Hannah and Ari both scream again, and I'm pulled into a chain of introductions. I can't remember any of their names for more than ten seconds. Nevertheless, I keep mindlessly sipping the drink until I realise the cup is empty, only to have a new one thrust in my hand. This gets repeated a few more times, and I start to understand why humans enjoy drinking. I feel fantastic, like I could walk up to anyone and instantly make them love me, or jump onto the kitchen island and give a performance worthy of a standing ovation. Of course, I don't do either of these; instead I stumble to the bathroom for a moment of peace. As soon as the door shuts everything feels bizarre. The music is so loud and yet so quiet, the cool air from an open window is hitting me like a truck. I take my phone out of my bra and get an empty feeling in my chest when I see no new messages from Matei. The way I left him earlier has been weighing heavy on my mind. "He's just playing it cool, y/n," Katrina said earlier, "classic teenage boys trying to hide their insecurity, they don't want to let you in too soon". What I neglected to tell her is that he practically asked me to run away with him, and then went cold when I said no. I never thought of Matei as moody before, at least not with me. I want him to know how much I like him. I want him to let me in.

Maybe I should tell him.

I sit on the cold bathroom tiles and begin to type, and after a few attempts I manage to type out a fairly coherent message: