𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬...;)

ACTING STRANGE - T.H

"Babe? I'm home!" I shout throughout the house, dropping my keys in the bowl by the front door. "Babe?" I walk in the living room to Tom asleep on the sofa, shirtless and wrapped up in a blanket. I look at him in awe and kiss his head and begin to make dinner. I put some spaghetti in a pot and make some sauce then hear some movement from the living room.
"Babe?" I say quietly, popping my head through the kitchen doorway.
"Hey..." He greeted in a groggy voice, hobbling through the hallway and into the kitchen.
"You ok? You seem a bit off."
"Yeah, just tired...long day at work."
"Ok then, just finished dinner...how much you want?"
Tom hesitates, "I'm not hungry, actually. I'll heat some up if I get hungry." I look at him confused.
"But it's my famous homemade spaghetti, 'Mama's Recipe from her dead Grandma.'"
Tom laughs and looks at me.
"I'll eat later, I promise."
I mutter an 'ok' under my breath and hug him.

A few hours later, I've eaten and Tom ate half a plate.
"You sure you're ok? You've barely touched your food..." I say, grabbing his hand across the table.
"I'm fine!" He shouts, making me flinch. "I'm sorry..I'm fine I promise. Can you just leave it? Please?" I just nod my head and go to do the dishes and clean the rest of the kitchen, slamming stuff about and hearing Tom walk back into the living room.                                        "Are you seriously mad?" Tom shouts. I mentally roll my eyes.                                            "Yeah! Yous shouted at me for no fucking reason...am I not allowed to be mad at that?" I shout back, slamming the tea towel on the side and walking into the living room with hands on hips.   
"You kept asking me if I was alright after I specifically asked you not to because I'm fine!"  "I asked you once and I know that you're not fine because you're shouting, once again!"          "Ughhh! I'm shouting because you don't know when to fucking stop! So for the last time, leave it." Tom stomps up the stairs like a toddler and slams the door shut. I lay down on the sofa and turn on Netflix. I'm done with his shit tonight.

THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

I woke up and heard a noise from the kitchen, Tom was definitely asleep because he's a deep sleeper after a fight so I grab my keys and whip out my pocket knife attached onto it by a keychain. I slowly walk into the kitchen and lift it up above my head and see Tom grabbing some water.                                                               "What the fuck?!" Tom shouts. I put the knife down and sigh out of relief.                                      "What the hell? I thought you were asleep...?" I say, breathing heavily. He points to his cup of water and continues to push past me and back up the stairs and to bed.                                          "Hey! Wait..." I stop him. He comes back down the stairs and looks into my eyes. I wrap my arms around his torso and snuggle into his chest as he does the same to me, I feel safe again.                  
"I'm sorry I pushed you too far..." Tom just shakes his head and places it on top of mine.      "Can we actually talk? I wanna tell you what's going on..." He whispered. I nodded my head and led him to the sofa in the living room and sat him down.                                                            "So...I've been having these panic attacks and it's been stressing me out and I end up snapping and yelling at everyone. I yelled at Haz the other day...my mum and dad because I spilt some tea and they tried to clean it up. Some days, I have no feelings whatsoever, like nothing is channelling in my head; like I can't react." Tom explains himself, starting to cry at the end.             
"Babe...why didn't you tell me?" I say, holding him close to me.                                                        "I didn't want to be a burden to you and have you worry about me. Just didn't think you would care..." I look down at the floor, tears escaping my eyes.                                                      "If you think you would be a burden to me, you are fucking crazy." I grab his hand. "You are the love of my life, Tom...you will never be a burden to me and that's why you should've told me how you were feeling. You know I've dealt with this before and I know how to help you, if you let me." He looks deep into my eyes and nods his head, signalling he wants help...desperately.

I grab him and lay him down on the sofa next to me. I lay him on my chest and play with his brown locks while he slowly falls asleep.                                                                                                  "I love you so much, Tom Holland." I whisper as I join him in falling asleep.                                  A FEW MONTHS LATER...                            "Tom! Hurry up! You're gonna be late for therapy!" I yell up the stairs. He comes running down the stairs, shoving on his jacket and trying to tie his shoes.                                              "I'm here, I'm here. Even though I don't wanna go." He moans. I mentally roll my eyes.                "You know you love it because she has sweets on her coffee table."                                                  "I know...I just don't like to admit it because it makes me sound like a softie."                                "You are a little bit of a softie though..." I mumble under my breath and smile and run out the door, knowing that he heard it. Tom had been on medication for his anxiety and depression since a week after the night he told me about everything. He does have his bed days where he'll yell and lock himself away but they are getting VERY rare. He also started therapy and is taking some time off of work, which everyone was so supportive of apart from Tom not wanting to.

The best thing about all of this is the fact that I'm getting my happy Tommy back.

THIS WAS INSPIRATION FROM AN IMAGINE THAT I READ BUT I MADE IT MY OWN. ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KEEP TO YOURSELF, IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING...PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A PROFESSIONAL BUT YOU SHOULDN'T KEEP EVERYTHING INSIDE. I LOVE YOU ALL AND STAY SAFE <3