Sometimes I can't stand to be near him because only he knows how to push those buttons so perfectly and the exact reaction I don't want to give him, but other times I feel hurt or neglected if he doesn't hold my hand going down the halls of school together. I know it's hard for him right now, but lately my emotions are everywhere, I broke down on Monday because he said we didn't have the funds to go to a cheap motel on Saturday, normally I would have been cool with that, but I literally got so depressed that even Ellen Degeneres couldn't make me laugh. (and that's saying a lot). Tuesday was the worst though this was even more of a nothing this was about a damn phone, yeah my phone is a piece of shit, but I didn't need to react the way I did I tried drawing parallels to everything, and claiming that he didn't love me or want me and clearly he does there were times when I literally had to tell him to stop because I just couldn't go anymore.
Today was better we shipped out our shit today that we sold on ebay he made way more than I did because lets face it nobody really reads books anymore (besides me) because everything is digital, but I did sell 3. Then we went to get him bus tickets so we could go to an earlier dinner, it was so nice and it was at one of my favorite restaurants in town, price is low, but the food is still good, man was I craving some weird shit today, they had peanut butter chicken and boy was that amazing. After dinner we went around shopping (window shopping although I was kind of looking at what he might want for his birthday) Spencer's, Hot Topic the usual I think I favor Hot Topic more because of their One Direction Collection and their Ariel merch, but He prefers Spencer's because of their "real" band merch (*cough* lingerie section *cough*).
I found out some distressing news today when I got home I got on facebook because lets face it that's everybody's 'I'm bored out of my brains' thing to do so I was going through my news feed only to find Zayn Malik has quit One Direction!!!! My heart nearly stopped and the worst part is they are going on without him. Who is going to hit Zayn's high note's? Harry? I don't think so his voice is too rugged. Niall? Not a chance his voice is too sweet. Liam? No, his voice is like Harry's but deeper. Louis? He could probably hit one of Zayn's high notes an octave less than what it's supposed to be. I know I won't make a difference by asking this, but Zayn when I am able to go to my first One Direction concert please be there, not for me (yes for me) but for your bro's (mates). My sister is the biggest Zayn fan ever so she is probably having a meltdown right about now. Just in case she isn't I will calling her tomorrow to tell her the bad news, it's like telling someone you just ran over their cat a beautifully gifted and talented cat, but still your cat just the same. I kind of wonder what will become of Zayn's and Perrie's marriage she is going to get terrible hate for what she did to him, making him leave like that, I just wish him the best.
I have school tomorrow so until then I love you (and Zayn) be smart keep your legs closed or at least use a condom and Be Well.
Love.
Faith Marie Hosier
