One Too Many Wishes

Good Shot - 6

Arthurs POV:

"Arthur, I have a ring."

I look at her, her eyes red and glossy, she seems distraught. For me? No, she wouldn't be like this, it doesn't make sense. A ring? A ring. She's engaged? I am a bigger fool than I thought, I was right, I shouldn't have fallen dafty for someone I hardly know. Someone I barely know, what else don't I know? She led me to the position of truly giving in and she tells me this. I don't know what to think.

I hang my head back, realizing I've been holding my breath, I can still feel her eyes on me. I don't like it.

"well. we'll get you home to the lucky man tomorrow." Arthur why did you say that you idiot. "You'll just have to sleep in here though, the bugs'll getcha if you set up a tent now."

Stuck somewhere, with someone, who you don't even know.

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Graces POV:

Arthurs sleeping, I can't get this feeling of guilt to stop. to go away, Is the guilt from being away so long and in another mans tent, a gunslingers for that matter, or the guilt of Arthur providing me with so much yet I bring him to this point.

I see his satchel on a hook with his journal peeking over the top. I'm going to be gone by tomorrow and I want to know what the writing underneath my portrait said. I check again to assure he is asleep, he would be a light sleeper, after all, they've got bounties on their heads.

I slowly slide his journal out of his satchel, almost dropping it but managing to grip it with what fingers still held on.

I flick through the pages of his drawings and entries, so simple yet so distinguished. After flicking through a good portion, the next page presented what was me, dimples, freckles, each hair, each wrinkle, it almost made me feel pretty. The writing underneath was long, I realise it actually continues towards the next page, however I still cannot grasp how a man raised by what others know as killers has handwriting so neat and nice, I didn't even think that someone like him would even be able to spell correctly. But I regather my thoughts and focus on what was written.

'brought a new girl to camp, found her in a storm in the mountains. she had fight, but she eventually became vulnerable. Telling me about her dad, how good of a man he was, mine wasn't the same, but hey, I guess we do turn out like our fathers, however my daddy never really raised me, Dutch did, however I don't know if that's much better. Although she's sarcastic and quite a character, she makes me smile, even without trying, even if its just her voice, even if it's the way she looks at me. You absolute fool Arthur. somedays she makes me feel more of a fool than I thought fools could get. Yet it doesn't matter. Because finally, someone who actually listens and embraces the lifestyle in which we are living has finally showed up, John got lucky, I got even luckier. Arthur you're getting ahead of yourself. Fuck.

Oh?

He really thought of me this way? To be completely honest I still thought of myself as an obstacle to overcome. Well maybe I am now after revealing what was the last thing on my mind.

Arthur is so sweet. He looks rough, he looks tough but his eyes just plead and his hair lingers over them to hide whatever he is screaming. He cares. I know he does. Even after the truth.

I want Arthur I really do. But I've known Darren for so long. And is this really what I should feel when I feel loved? Because Arthur and Darren are quite different in how they present it.

Now, even after all that liquor, I'm not an ounce tired. After fighting off a rat and after breaking a mustang. I can't sleep. But all I can do is wait. Because leaving will make him feel even worse and after reading his thoughts I cannot just leave someone so gentle by themselves.