desiderate | park chanyeol.

de

note: EXPLICIT CONTENT / slight smut

•••

"Do you..really want to do that?" He asked once again.

"The what?"

"Sex."

I finally broke the hug. I looked at him and his face is really serious. I could really feel he despises me, i don't know. But can I blame him? This is literally not normal.

"You think I'm a slut."

"I didn't. I said, you are being a slut. You are acting like one. I don't know you or your whole personality whatever so why would I say that?" He argued back.

I pursed my lips into thin line before responding.

"Do you really want me to stay away from you that bad?" I asked and I got no respond. He didn't say any word. Just his deep sigh.

"I want you, Chanyeol. I want to taste you..so bad, actually." I said and he looked at me in the eyes. My hand's grip on my shoulder's bag became tight. "I don't know why I'm so drop-dead to you. But I can totally understand why you want me away. We just like met yesterday. Of course, you wouldn't have sex with someone like me."

Chanyeol's fingers ran through his dark wavy hair. "Jesus, Hayoon. You are so desperate." he then looked at me again and sighed before saying anything. "Okay, look. I will do what you want. If you want it, fine. Let's have this.. This fucking sex. Let's fuck. Just this once. And we part ways, okay?"

I bit my lip and nodded. Fuck. Why am I so giddy over this?

"And one more thing, Hayoon."

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to see you crying like that again."

×××

I didn't got a lot of sleep last night cause someone in my mind kept me awake. Park Chanyeol. The man who got me dead over him. We met and started it off with a kiss and now. Make out. Not yet by the way. We will. LATER.

He said he's living alone so we can actually do it at his home. I even asked him why he's living alone and regrets, cause he said his parents passed away and his Aunt was the one who took care of him but she's currently not in the country so that's why he is alone.

I'm the one who suggested it to be done today. And he agreed.

I even video-called my friend to tell her what just happened. She said that I'm finally liking someone. Which left me dumb-founded. Cause all I want from Chanyeol is his body, right?

I never liked someone so I don't know how does it feel. I know. I know it's strange coming from a girl who wanted to pursue Psychology. I do know what kind of feeling it is. How it makes people feel but I never felt like it so I don't know myself. And even if I liked him or someone, he will just leave me like other men do. I hate giving trust to someone who clearly just gonna make use of me.

In the whole class, Chanyeol and I never bothered nor talked to each other. I focused in class. Some tests are coming and I have to review a lot cause I am a freaking transferee.