Plump

Things have changed

It's now 3 months after the big argument between my dad, grandma and myself. I have started to go to therapy and I have stuck to my "diet" but I never told my therapist about it. I haven't been going to school because my parents have calmed down and said it's best if I didn't go to school because I would be skipping a few days a week to go to doctor's appointments and therapy appointments. I have changed a lot, I am now slim but my doctors say that I will be needing surgery because I have something wrong with my kidneys. I swear you wouldn't notice me if you saw me before, and with James.. well I haven't talked to him in weeks since my doctors say I need rest and not to be on my phone. I feel bad for James because he is probably so worried about me, but I am not my old self, I don't talk as much and I never really smile anymore. 

My parents take me everywhere now and I am not allowed to walk anywhere by myself anymore because now they actually care for me. In an hour I have another doctor's appointment not for my kidneys but for my mental health. I have been struggling with anxiety but the doctor say it might be more than anxiety. I am nervous to see what they say because I don't want to be diagnosed with anything else. I am dealing with enough already!

An hour later: "Madison Kernel!" The nurse shouted whilst my parents and myself were sitting in the waiting room. I went into the room by myself without my parents because that's what the nurse asked for. The nurse checked my file and started typing stuff on her computer. "Ok Madison, how have you been feeling? I know you are getting surgery soon, are you nervous about it? Are you doing ok at home?" The nurse said. I was being overloaded with questions and I started shaking my legs and shakily said I am not that good or not that bad, I am getting surgery, yes and-d I've been struggling with myself. I always feel tired or stressed and sometimes I just want to burst out crying. "Alright Madison, we have run multiple tests before this appointment and I am sorry but I am diagnosing you with depression." The nurse said softly. W-what, no no no, so what does this mean?! "You have all the symptoms for depression and I'm sorry but the tests came back positive for it. I will call your parents in now." She said. "NO WAIT" I shouted. "Is there anything you want to tell me Madison?" Yes there is... would the food I eat have anything to do with my depression? "I doubt what you eat is anything to do with your depression, but care to tell me what you eat everyday?" Well all I eat is an apple and a slice of toast a day and I only drink water nothing else. "Oh gosh Madison, how long have you been eating like this?" About 3 months I said, "Madison that wouldn't have much to do with this mental illness but it could have something to do with your kidney infection.. I need to mention this to your doctor and your parents." I said that it was okay.

Nurse told my parents and they teared up and she sent an email to my doctor about what has been going on. As we walked out of the hospital I saw someone who looked familiar, it was James! I asked if I could go over to him to say hello, my dad said yes so I ran over to him and hugged him immediately and he said "Who are you!?" and I was shook, he couldn't recognise me.. It's me James, Madison. "Madison, omg you have changed so much, I have missed you so much!!" I have too I said. "Why haven't you been answering your texts and why aren't you in school?" he asked. I have been so busy James, I am sick I have a kidney infection and I just found out that I have depression unfortunately.. And my parents pulled me out of school because I would be missing a lot of days anyways. I said. "That's unfortunate Madi but what happened as in you." James said surprisingly. I was on a "diet" put it got to far which gave me a kidney infection and the doctor said I needed to rest with no technology. 

"So much has changed at school Madi," James sighed. Really? What happened? I asked. "Well Amber Fletcher is now dating the new boy but he doesn't seem interested in her and Mrs Cornwell was fired for hitting a student because they accidentally spilt milk on her in the canteen a month ago, and I was elected for student president a week ago." Oh wow James, that sounds like a lot. What's the new boy's name? I asked. "I believe his name is Elliott Harper, he's really cute I mean cool." That's a nice name actually. "Ya it is," James blushed.

I have to go James but stop by the house one day ok? "Anything for you Madi," James smiled. I got in the car and we got home. My mum asked me if I wanted any food in particular and I stopped for a minute and I said please make me anything I don't mind. "Ok honey," mum said. Mum, dad, do you think I can go back to school I want to see James again. "Of course you can," they said together. It was Friday so I had time to get ready for Monday, I gathered all my books and put them in my schoolbag and put my bag by the desk in my room. Things have gotten a lot better now that I am opening up to people about my feelings..