Angels Among Us

Angels Among Us: Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Coming to a stop, Joy pressed a palm to her thundering heart and breathed.  Oh, Lord...what am I going to do now?

She had suspected, questioned, feared the reality of Gabriel’s obvious affection, but she didn’t think he’d say so!  Not so soon, at least.  She had hoped that today would be about clearing her name with his grandfather, and then tomorrow, everything would go back to normal...before Gabriel Lockwood walked up to her in the aisle of his store and practically threw free money her way.  She had prayed that once she was back in Tuscaloosa, and he stayed here in Montgomery, that would be the end of this mystifying inclination toward a romantic relationship.  Gabe would continue with his life, eventually forgetting about the woman who couldn’t splurge on a pair of sapphire earrings, and she would always remember him in the corners of her mind as a charming friend.

Oh, dear...who am I kidding?

He said he was...gulp, in love with her...sort of.  Practically.  And though the fear and sadness had taken control of most of her response, a part of her -- that woman side of her, which she thought she buried long ago with her husband, that part of her which reacted far too often and far too potently to Gabriel -- well, it smiled.

Smiled.  When she honestly felt like crying.  He cannot, should not, be in love with her.  Who falls in love after three days?

You did...after only one.

Joy sighed.  Yeah, she did...with Benjamin.  It had been that way for both of them.  Love at first sight, at first word, first shared smile.  Bright fireworks.  Sparkling rainbows.  Magical fairy dust drifting down from the stars.   All of it.  It had been perfect and powerful and priceless.  The three P's, Benjamin liked to call it.

Of course, their life together and short marriage had not been quite so easy -- far from it -- but their love for each other had been.

But what Joy didn't realize, as she held down a sob for both Benjamin and Gabriel, was that those same womanly feelings she felt around Gabriel, they were the same which kicked her feet out from under her when she first saw Benjamin.  Only now, she had several more years of life, love, misery, grief, adulthood, motherhood, and experience holding her upright, all of which created ripples in what would otherwise be a smooth and open heart.

Because thirty-three was a world away from the girl she'd been at twenty-three when she said goodbye to love.

“You going to stand there all day, letting flies into the house?”

Startled, Joy looked around.  Somehow, she’d made her way back to the kitchen, where Mrs. Heff was whipping up cake batter in a large, stainless steel bowl.

“Sorry,” Joy said with a small smile and closed the back door.

Mrs. Heff eyed her carefully.  “You look like a woman who needs to beat something.”

“Pardon?”

“You know how to make cream cheese icing?”

“Yes...”

“Then come on over!  I have the stuff all ready to go.  Here’s the recipe.”

Joy joined Mrs. Heff at the country island in the middle of the kitchen and glanced at the small, neatly-printed index card.  But she put it down.  It was the same recipe her mother used.  She knew it by heart.

Though Simon enjoyed cooking more than Joy ever did, she did like to make desserts on occasion, and it had a certain therapeutic appeal to it.  There was just something about chocolate, sugar and the smells of spices that drove sadness out of the body and soul.  And for a while, Joy immersed herself in the motions of creaming the cheese and butter together, but her thoughts kept going back to Gabriel and what he said down by the lake.