Jocel was a man who lived in a top hat house, wearing a top hat suit, eating top hat food, and reading top hat books. He was a fancy and respectable man, but he was very secluded and kept to himself. He tended to sit in his library and read, typically bought a new book once a week. On his most recent visit to his local bookstore though, something quite odd was about to happen. He strides his way up to the store "Still a rectangle I see, when will they ever listen to my request to change it into a top hat." He had thought to himself. Despite his grievances he walked in anyway. "Howdy" the store owner says with a half smile on his face. "How do you do my good sir" jocel replies "quite good, business as usual, I see you're right on schedule as well." The store owner returns. "Indeed I am, also any plans to change the shape of this establishment, it's quite boring and not elegant enough." The store owner laughs and passive aggressively tells him "just get'cha damn book already." Jocel proceeded to the shelves. There was quite vast catalogue of books. Tired he was of simple fantasies so he decided to maybe look for something a bit different. He led his way to the history section. He scavenged the shelf for something interesting, checked it twice, then thrice. Couldn't find anything that truly peaked his interest, but then out of the corner of his eye he saw something in the crevice of the shelf. It was some sort of switch, very foreign to him, and he decided to test it out. He flipped the switch and a robotic hand popped out holding a book. A voice rang out from the switch "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE WINNER, COLLECT PRIZE." Jocel jumped and yelled "GAH, what kind of witch craft is this!" The store owner ran over "oh jeez, I kinda forgot about that." Jocel, still in shock, replied "W-what even, how is this even possible??!!" "It's a simple spring mechanism, and some sort of device that has a voice or something." "Peculiar, I've never seen anything like it!" The store owner sighed "you don't get out much do you, this kinda stuff has been pretty common as of late." Jocel replies "Interesting, had no idea, now what about this book." Jocel takes the book from the contraptions hand "the book of jeiser n blango, eh?" Jocel was quite intrigued. The shopkeeper then butted in "oh yeah I remember I put that one there, some old man came in and paid me a pretty shmenny to hide it somewhere." Jocel requited "that is most interesting, now tell me how much shall it cost me to own this book?" "Eh? Well the old man told me to hide it, but I guess he didn't tell me not to sell it. So, eh how's about 1 shwarter and 3 schmennies?" "You've got yourself a ripe ol deal then my good sir." Jocel handed the man the money and left the store. Once he returned home he sat down in his library and said to himself "Alright now time to open this book in the middle instead of the beginning, like any ol chap should." "Alright let's see here, aha the jeiser." Jocel began to read "the jeiser is a mystical object that can do whatever the hell it wants, but not really since it needs a host to command it. Take control of the jeiser, and it will do whatever you want. Of course there are 2 current setbacks: 1. You can only make 1 command every revolution around the the sun. 2. The jeiser is currently in control of the evil Schnecklelock. If you want it you must ask him or take it from him, and then you can finally have any wish you please." Jocel put the book down and thought to himself "Any wish I want oi?" He remembered how awful every piece of architecture looks, all square and very not shaped like a top hat. He hates going out in a hatless world. He thinks "If I get the jeiser I can turn everything into a top hat, houses, food, people, plants, ANYTHING! Finally a perfect world where everything is a top hat!" Jocel cried happiness just thinking about it. He then exclaimed "No time to waste, TO THE HAT-MOBILE!" Jocel proceeds to run into his garage into the Hat-Mobile, which he had just bought before returning home since had just learned about the technology. Not knowing how to drive, Jocel turns the key and slams the gas. He breaks out through the garage door and starts speeding down a hill. He swerves and weaves and then he finally gets the hang of it a little. Unfortunately while rolling down the hill at high speeds he accidentally hit a Little Rock boy. "OH MY GOODNESS!" Jocel screamed as though he flew through the air, flipped over, and completely totaled the car once it reached the ground. Jocel got out of the damaged car, a little shocked but unconcerned. "Ok now time to go to some old mans lair." He takes a step and the realizes "Wait, I have no idea where I'm going." Stupid doofus Jocel (major loser in this scenario) completely forgot the book with the directions at home. "My golly, how could've I forgotten such a thing." He walked back up home and grabbed the book. "Now this time I shall take the Hatcycle!" He looked around for a moment "I have just remembered do not have a Hatcycle. Welp time to go on foot!" He followed the books directions on the road until he came across his first twist. He looked up and whispered "Oh bloody no, the forest graze..."
Cut to Schnecklelock's lair
Count Mackleson walks into the castle "Oh honey I'm home blerh blerh blerh!" He sits down his bag of many burgers on the table "I'll I'll be down a minute honey, I need to finish my evil plans!" Mackleson sighs and walks up to schnecklelock's planning quarters. "Honey you have been evil scheming all day, can't you take a break for a minute?" Schnecklelock, looking back at Mackleson, replies "Dearie, I love you most, but I need to scheme as quickly as possible. This is a once in a lifetime chance." "Blerh blerh listen, I brought you leftover hamburgers from work. I know they're your favorite, why don't you come down and have a few." Schnecklelock flicks his long nose and replies "Oh you know I love your burgers, but I have to scheme NOW!" "What makes it so important that you have to scheme now, that you haven't done in the past 44 years?" Schnecklelock replies "Dearie don't you understand? It's the 38th consecutive blue moon after the jangle festival which led from the filing of Samuel Mignolia's first taxes, after the the last round of uno on the moon, before Jimuel Mavelton flipped a coin." "Ok blerh, but what even is your plan for this event." "It's simple of course, I use the power of the jeiser to shrink all of the people across the land and use them for my little village I made, and maybe take some of their personal belongings." Mackleson retorts "You cannot possibly turn everyone into tiny people! How will I receive any more customers for my buisness blerh!" "Oh yeah uh, I guess I'll turn some of them into frog people. They won't have much of of a mind, but everyone knows frogs love burgers." Mackleson sighs "Well I understand, but could you please come down and at least have dinner with us?" Schnecklelock returns "Ok fine my dear, but after that I shall return to scheming. Then I'll ride my scooter and then do a sick trick and land into bed." Mackleson gives a small smirk and says "that is all I ask"
End scene
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