One Step At A Time [boyxboy]

Chapter 15

Love. The word was so simple, and yet had such a complex meaning. What had made him say it, Pierre couldn’t even begin to understand. He knew he loved David; he’d already accepted it, and had even admitted it to David’s friends. But to David? He never actually thought the words would leave his mouth, so when they did he was quite surprised with himself. It had never been his plan to make such a confession, mainly because he wasn’t sure how David would react. Maybe he wouldn’t say it back, maybe he wouldn’t feel it back, and that was alright with Pierre; he could handle that, as long as David was still his and his only.

But running away? That was another thing that Pierre hadn’t expected from the night before. True, he hadn’t fully expected David to return his feelings [although the way his friend acted around him certainly suggested otherwise], but the idea of David running away from him had never even crossed his mind. He’d laid awake all night, his mind turning over the image of David darting from the room and slamming the door behind him, and the mixture of shock, sadness, and most of all fear in David’s eyes once the words had left Pierre’s mouth.

He wasn’t quite sure which part was harder: David’s apparent disgust for his feelings, or the conversation he knew they would have to have later that day. The two were still headed back to Arkansas around noon that day, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid a conversation with the other boy. Turning over onto his side, he looked at the wall of the guest room. All images around him seemed to fade slowly, and his head began to feel light as he felt himself drifting back into the memory of the previous night. What was he going to say to David when he came back? He was pretty sure he hadn’t gotten any sleep that night, and he couldn’t remember hearing David enter the room next to his at any point in the night.

Which was another thing that worried him: he wasn’t sure that David ever came home. He was too hurt in the moment to think to follow after him, but after about twenty minutes of laying in bed, staring at the ceiling with tears of confusion pooling in his unwilling eyes, and still not hearing the door creak open, his mind started to assume the worst of things. What if David had gotten himself into more trouble? He seemed to have a knack for doing that. Or what if he had gone out and gotten himself stoned or worse? Pierre knew David’s friends would give him anything he wanted in a heart beat just to have a glimpse of the David they remembered. Or the worst thought of them all, what if David had gotten himself killed, or even killed himself?

It was thoughts like those that kept Pierre from sleeping too much that night. He wasn’t sure when he had taken it upon himself to become David’s personal watch dog, but it seemed that from the moment he’d met David, he was strangely protective over him. No matter what the stubborn boy said, he needed help; he needed help more than anyone Pierre had ever met in his life. Maybe he needed more help than Pierre could give, but he would sure as hell try for as long as David would allow. After all, he loved him. He loved him more than anything else or anyone else he’d ever seen or met. He had tried to talk himself out of loving David time and time again, but he just couldn’t help himself.

Pierre loved David.

Downtown Los Angeles. That’s where David had found himself once his mind cleared and he’d realized what had happened. The memory of him running into the room, throwing on clothes, and running back out of the house was fogged and hazy. His mind was so beyond confused at that point that nothing he did was thought out logically. Yes, the boy was running on pure emotion; something which he didn’t allow himself to do very often. David knew that he did stupid things when he was emotional; stupid and dangerous sometimes. Which was exactly what had happened that night. Never before in his life had he walked around in downtown L.A., and now he knew why his mother had always advised against it.

He didn’t know which was scarier: all of the creepy people staring at him as he walked by, or the fact that he had no idea where he was. Everything seemed so familiar to him when the sun was shining and he was thinking in his right mind, but at that moment everything was fuzzy, and nothing looked quite right to him. It took him hours to realize where he was and get back to the house, luckily for himself in one piece.