Heyyyy guys.... please vote so i can start you know getting more votes and uploading faster. I know you guys will love how this story going to go... Il spontaneous..... I LIKE CHICKEN!!!! OK NOW THAT THAT IS OVER WITH..... i burned myself with oil and it hurts like hell.... so imma upload this and go lay down tomorrow be back and write some more i guess=] if i actually can
picklessss...picklesss...snooki loves picklesss....
omfg miss pretty little liars last night...so freaking mad!!!!
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"What the hell is going on?" Tinny came running down the stairs and asking me. I ignored her and walked right past her and grabbed a lighter.
"What are you doing with those?" She looked at me suspiciously and i looked at her and she flinched a little.
"Ima burn down this fucking house along with kenny" She started cracking up thinking I was actually kidding.I hope you know I am not kidding. I walked right into his room.
"Oh Shit!" Before she could get to me I went into his room with a can of hairspray a lighter, walked into his closet and flamed his clothes.
"Evelynn!!!!" Kenny screamed and i looked at his and laughed threw the lighter and can of hairspray on the floor and Jake grabbed me by the arm and slapped me across the face. I stared at him in the face and felt my eyes water he looked just like my dad doing that so I just started running. What in the world is going on today? Why am I acting like this? Because he wanted to go buy me an apartment? Maybe im at my breaking point of all the things I have put up with in life. All this bullshit that I dont need. Maybe Jake was right I should just leave fighting. I cant believe he slapped me. My own brother who says i will never put a hand on a women hit me and he promised he was not like my dad. He told me he will never lay a finger on me because I didnt deserve anything like that. I went threw enough.
I found myself by a creek in the woods. Well not really in the woods. Its just this nice quiet place, feels nice here. Bringing up my legs to my chest and hugging them i stared at the water thinking about where should I go now. Should I stay here or go back to my so call ''home''. By now Kenny would of gone to get me because Ii messed up his clothes and i probably burned down the house. I hope I didnt though. They will be mad at me if I did. Kenny did deserve it though. He was stalking me. I mean that is actually somethign i wouldn't mind if he didnt threaten to tel my brothers. If he did then they will find out many things that i have been trying to cover up. Many things that i should of been able to avoid but couldnt because i was weak. I became a fighter for a reason. Everyone has a reason for what they do. I still remember it like it was yesterday.
**flashback**
"Hey princess how are you?" he said i looked at him and smiled. He was actually talking to me. Yesterday he had hit me so hard and said he didnt love me. But today he called me princess. Last time my father said that to me was when i was little actually. He was the only guy i ever heard it from but this is not my father. No this is my first boyfriend. Jackson, i never thought i was going to be in so much love with him. He was suppose to be the best but he wasnt. He smiled at me.
"I want to show you something." He pulled out a knife. It was a switchblade with a rose on it.
"Don't hurt me jackson please" I started crying moving away and he chuckled and said no he wasnt. I smiled and hugged him.
"Everytime you are going to tell someone that i raped you and im your boyfriend your going to use this and cut yourself. because i told you so." I stared at him and started backing up terrified for what he had just told me. I dont want to do that, that is bad.
"Dont you love me?"
"Y-yes forever" He handed me the knife.
"Then do it. Show me how much you love me" Ii took the knife and pulled up my skirt and sliced it open. Blood came out my blood. He smiled and kissed me for the first time.
**end flashback**
Now feeling that knife in my pocket wanted to cut, but not for the fact that i couldnt tell anyone. Just i cant stand this anymore. I cant do this anymore. All the running away feeling betrayed, no one loving me, my brother slapping me, my mother. Maybe this is the right thing to do. Just like that i took it and cut myself. Im actually cutting myself. I look like a emo kid, who cares.
No one cares about you, so just keep cutting.
I dont want to keep cutting myself. Its hurting me. I need to stop.
But you cant, its the only way to release your pain.
No its not. I need to stop. I threw the knife in the river and took off my jacket. God, Im SUCH A RETART WHY CANT ANYONE EVER HELP ME AT ALL. ALL IM GOOD AT IS BEING FUCKING STUPID LIKE AN IDIOT!!!!!!
I need to get home. I need to go somewhere where they wont find me. I need to get cleaned up. I need to fight. I need love. I need life. I need someone to care. But who is going to care for someone like me? Someone who has secrets beyond believe. So far no one is. And its not going to change. So why bother trying to suceed in life. Why bother to do anything at all.
