The impression I send back [HOMESTUCK]

One Shot

He didn't understand how it could have turned out this way. Horuss thought their relationship was stable, that they loved each other, that there were no worries between them.

"Let's take a break."

Rufioh's words had slapped him in the face, though they were spoken in a shaky voice. Rufioh struggled to hold his gaze, stumbled over his words, and Horuss had taken a moment to respond:

" ... What?"

He hadn't known what else to say. It just seemed too absurd. But Rufioh had taken a feverish breath and repeated:

"Our relationship. Let's take a break."

It was at times like this that they were glad they weren't living together. It would have been too confusing. Which one of them should have left? In this case, it was Horuss who was at Rufioh's house, leaving the hive of his... his ex-lover?

They hadn't spoken further. What was there to say anyway? Horuss had slipped out of the house in a daze, unable to think about what had just happened.

A break? What did that mean, a break?

He had dragged himself along the streets, without really knowing where he was going, repeating Rufioh's words over and over again without making any sense. It made no sense at all. It was all nonsense.

He stopped at a street he didn't recognize, but it didn't matter. A break... a break... Rufioh had asked him for a break. He had asked him for a break in a desperate tone. He had asked him for a break like someone announcing that they wanted to break up.

Rufioh did not want a break. Rufioh wasn't planning on coming back to him, was he?

A break... Horuss' mind repeated the word over and over again, but it didn't take on any more value.

And then he jumped, taken by surprise when a hand came to rest on his shoulder:

"Hey Chief, is everything okay?"

Horuss turned around, to meet Cronus' curious and slightly worried gaze. Maybe because the blue blood wasn't smiling, he was just standing in the middle of the street staring into the distance. There was a short silence, where the taller man had a hard time taking in the question.

" ... Rufioh wants to take a break."

The words had come out in such a fluid way. As fluid as the tears that came to moisten his eyes and soak his face.

"H-he... wants..."

This time he couldn't finish, his tongue stumbled over the words, and before he could really understand, he had started sobbing, as if saying the thing out loud had finally given it real meaning.

Shit... Damn it...

Cronus didn't hide his amazement, watching his comrade with wide eyes, his mouth half open, almost dropping his cigarette. But he quickly recovered, and correctly turned the Zahhak to him to hug him.

"Don't worry chief. Everything's fine."

It was strange. Cronus' embrace was quite different from Rufioh's. His lover... ex-lover, was taller and with a strong build, his grip was firm but tender, it was easy to escape. Cronus, on the other hand, was slightly smaller than him, and much thinner, yet his embrace was more powerful, dominating, almost like a barrier that cut you off from the outside world. Like a trap that would not let you go.

And Horuss continued to cry. He cried as he snuggled up to him, not feeling like he was disturbing. He cried as he buried his face in the crook of his neck, feeling like he was invited in, seeing that Cronus gave him no choice. And it felt good, to feel held like that, unlike Rufioh who gave him the constant feeling that he could slip through his fingers.