Im only Human (Larry Stylinson)

10

Walking into the room, the door closes behind me. Looking around there is no one. I walk towards the chairs in front of the desk and take a seat. Am I early? Where is everyone?

Playing with the pen on the table. Click, click, click on and off. I was about to get up and see what is taking so long, but the door opens. Turning around I look to see who is there.

Furrowing my eyebrows, he walks in hesitantly while biting his lip. He closes the door behind him and stays standing there. He is still holding the door handle for dear life, like I am about to attack or something and it's the only safe route out of here.

"Hi", he finally says.

"Hi, Louis", I say softly, "where is everyone else?"

"Uhm they aren't coming"

"Oh, then why am I here?" I say as I stand up slowly. I am surprised I am actually keeping my voice steady. Setting the pen down and pushing the chair in. "Well, I don't see the point in staying then if no one else is going to show up. Why did Paul bring me here anyway?"

"I asked him to"

"Why?" I breath out.

"For the duration of our break I have been thinking. Trying to work up the courage to talk to you. Try to at least get a hold of you somehow. But then I thought what am I gonna say once I have you on the line. I couldn't think of a single thing to say until now."

"I-I have been trying to figure out my thoughts. To figure out why I did what I did. The only thing that I-"

"I don't want to hear it." I finally choke out "I waited for this, for so long and now because the time is convenient for you, you want to tell me now. You want me to believe you have been 'thinking' about what you did. Louis, there is no words to express my anger, my hurt, and betrayal I felt."

"I could finally say your name without feeling like my insides are going to cave in. What can you say? That can fix what you have done."

"I-"

"Right nothing, because you already done your worst. You tore me down brick by brick and I am finally putting the prices back together and now you want to crumble all my work back down. I can't-"

"Will you just shut up and listen Harry! I am trying to apologize and I know it won't mean a thing. I don't expect you to forgive me, hell I don't even expect you to even acknowledge me."

"I have tried so many times to pick up the dam phone and dial your number but I couldn't bring myself to. I just sat there trying to figure out what am I going to say and what if you would not even want to talk to me. I know I have hurt you, but you should know, please believe me I have tried to pick up the phone. I tried but I just couldn't dial your number."

"I thought about you all the time thinking I could have prevented all of this, if I wasn't such a fucking coward. If I could just pick up my balls off the floor and tell you that I still care about you."

Louis starts walking slowly towards me. I didn't notice till now that I have started crying. He could be bullshiting me or he could be telling the truth. I don't know.

"Please", he whispers, "I am deeply sorry for how I let, what we had end. I am sorry for being a right twat. I am sorry for letting you down and hurting you. I am sorry from the deepest depths of my soul that I am sorry."

"No" I say quietly.

"W-what?"

"No" I say louder. My voice cracks a little but I shove him back. "I have waited so long for you to say something to me, and now I don't care. I don't care that you are sorry. I don't care that you tried to call me. You threw everything away when you left that night. You just left and took everything with you, but now, I don't need your apology. I accept it but it dose not change anything. Louis, you are my bandmate and that is about it. Maybe we could be friends, but at the moment you are an old flame that crashed and burned."

"I have finally fixed most of my life within this month and I have mended almost back to not normal but close."

"Harry?"

"No, we are finished here"

I push past him and I grab the door knob while wiping my tear stained cheeks.

"What happened to you?"

"You happened Louis"

I yank the door open and close it. I slump against the wall and take in a deep breath. Hanging my head low I dig my palms into my eyes. "Stop crying" I scold myself.

After composing myself I stand back up and head towards the lobby.

"Harry" Paul says "uh where's Louis?"

I shrug "take me home" I pause "please"

Paul looks like he wanted to say something but just nods and we get into the car on our way back to my flat.