Beautiful Boy (TordMatt)

B e a u t i f u l - B o y /5\

    (Self harm, suicidal thoughts, 'bad thoughts, detailed' blood, and cussing in this chapter)

As Matt watched the movie by force Edd woke up and turned to Matt. Edd watched as Matt just stared at the screen.

    "Matt?" Edd said, trying not be quiet. Matt jumped and looked at Edd.

    "Yeah?" Matt asked, his voice sounding wobbly, like he might pass out then and there.

    "You okay? Do you like the movie?" Edd asked, in a concern tone of voice.

     "Yeah, I really like it!" Matt whisper yelled to Edd, trying to sound like he actually liked it.

    "He hates you.. He wishes you would just go die in a hole, never to be found" Matt heard in the back if his mind after finishing his sentence.

  "Okay," Edd said trying to whisper, but failing, "Matt, you know you can tell us if something is wrong, right?"

   Edd and Matt sat in silence, just with the movie playing in the background for a minute.

    "Yeah, and why do you thing something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. I'm fine, Edd, don't worry about me. I'm fine." Matt replied to Edd, trying to sound calm, and trying not to sound like he was faint, but before he knew it, everything blacked out.

"MATT?!" was the only thing he heard before all went silent.

"Edd, come and look at this!" Tom yelled across Edd's apartment. Edd ran into the living room with some medicine for Matt, who was laying on his couch.

     Matt sat up and looked around. He realized where he was and looked at Edd.

"What happen?.." Matt said weakly, barely being able to open his mouth.

   Tom looked at Edd, signaling for him to tell Matt.

"During the movie when I was talking to you, you fainted and I got worried so I brought you home," Edd said, opening the medicine and pouring it into a spoon, "Open."

    Matt opened his mouth weakly and Edd pushed the spoon in Matt's mouth and took it out.

"There we go!" Edd said, putting the medicine up.

"I'm sorry I ruined the movie for y'all.." Matt whispered, trying not to show he was about to cry.

"Huh? Oh, you didn't ruin the f*cking movie for us. It was boring anyway." Tom said, sitting on the floor and turning on the television.

"Yeah, the movie was a little boring." Edd said, sitting beside Tom.

"They're lying so you don't leave them, and so they can use you more." Matt heard, repeat in his head over and over again.

"Hey, I'm gonna go back to my apartment, if yall don't mind!" Matt said, standing up from the couch.

" Well, I'd rather you stay here, but if you're sure youre okay, you can go back." Edd said flipping through the channels.

"Yeah, I am!" Matt said, walking out the door to his apartment. He opened his apartment door and stepped inside.

     He shut the door and hurried to the bathroom. The locked the bathroom door and grabbed a razor from the drawer.

    Matt stared at the razor. He turned it on and counted to 3.

"1... 2... 3..." Matt said, right before he took the razor and slid it onto his wrist. He laughed at the blood coming out.

"One for Edd" Matt said as he did his first deep cut into his arm.

"Two for Tom" He said, making a deeper cut than the last on his vein.

"And. . . Three for Tord.." He said as he cut below the second cut he made, he screamed as the razor cut into him to where you could almost see his bone.

   He stared at the dark red blood coming from his wrist. He watched as the blood dripped from his arm onto the floor. He dropped the razor and stared at the third cut. He couldn't help but laugh. He wanted more pain than this, but he couldn't do it. Not yet. He looked down at the bloody razor and thought of all the ways too end himself with it.

    He heard banging on the bathroom door. It was Edd and Tom.

   "LET US IN, MATT!" Edd yelled as he banged on the door.

Matt watched the door. He wouldn't let his 'friends' come in.

"Their going to kill you if you let them in. They'll never be your friends. They left you. Just KILL yourself now, and spare them some time." The voice repeated in Matt's head.

    Matt looked at the razor and grinned sadly. He knew it was time..?