His Broken Submissive : Mercy

7 Pineapple

"I'm sorry for taking so long Izzy, one thing led to the next," Anne apologizes, walking up to our booth. "Did you and Marilyn have a good talk?" She gives Marilyn a curious look but doesn't press for more.

"We did," I admit, flashing the therapist a small smile. "In fact, I think I'll be coming to see her more often... I just need to clear it with Jonathan." Saying it out loud leaves me with a mix of nervousness and optimism, but after talking with Marilyn I can feel this is the right step for me.

"Good for you honey!" Anne beams, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sure the old man will be more than happy to give you the time off to take care of yourself."

"It's just a couple of hours a week," Marilyn agrees. "You have my card, talk to Jonathan and let me know what works for you guys."

Marilyn takes her garbage and says her goodbyes and heads out. A moment later Anne sits down with Jack in tow and a set of sandwiches and pops.

"You guys looked like you were getting pretty intense," Jack finally asks, earning a swat from Anne. "What?! I didn't ask what they talked about!"

"What she talks with Marilyn about is their business, don't be so damn nosey," Anne chides, glaring at the man.

"It's okay," I say with a laugh, watching Jack's theatrics. "We didn't really get into anything in particular, she just gave me some things to think about and be aware of."

"Such as?" Anne asks, leaning in with her full attention.

"I thought we weren't supposed to ask," Jack sasses with a crooked grin.

"Someone's awfully cheeky today," she warns, raising a brow. Jack just rolls his eyes. "Guess we need to have a little reminder..."

"Promises promise," he drawls but a slight blush on his cheeks gives himself away.

"So?" Anne asks, turning the conversation back to me.

"It was just general things like triggers," I mumble. "She wants me to think about times I've been triggered, and she's going to teach me some coping mechanisms."

"That made a huge difference for me," Jack adds, completely stoic, all trace of theatrics gone. "The grounding techniques she taught me literally stopped my panic attacks before they got too bad. After a while, they came less and less often."

"Really?" I ask, hope blooming in me.

"She's very good," Anne agrees.

I nod. In the short time we spoke, Marilyn put my mind at ease and had a way of explaining things in a way that I could relate to.

"Marilyn told me that we can be our own worst critics. That recovery is a process with ups and downs and that it's important to give ourselves credit for trying, even when we have setbacks." My voice gets small as I trail off.

Jonathan and Anne said something similar early on to that effect but I didn't understand like I do now. But like many things in life, it's easier to see after the fact.

"She's right you know?" Anne says, taking my hand in hers. "You've come so far, so fast. Sometimes setbacks happen, but Jonathan and all of us are here to help you through it."

"I know," I whisper, dropping my gaze. "But I worry I won't be enough." My chest tightens admitting my biggest fears.

"Honey, you don't see how happy you make him. He would give up everything for you," she says with such conviction I can't bear it.

"But that's the thing. I don't want him to give up anything more for me. I want to give him what he wants... what we want," I counter.

I thought we had it. Jonathan had opened my eyes to so many things, giving me a taste of the lifestyle that I had only read about until I broke...