Sanity

Chapter Three

   Some people ask "why is there so much hate and violence in the world?" To which I used to answer "it's a wonder that there is only this little." After all, we are creatures who managed to get from "monkey bashing skulls with a stick" to megacities and immortality with chips under our skin in only the blink of an eye - speaking in the timescales of nature. Don't mistake this for optimism, please do not, I'm simply saying that I find myself wondering what a great level of discipline we have that we don't just murder the first guy who lookes funny at us in the mall. Systematic racism and species selection has been punished for thousands of years now and mostly slavery was eradicated before the Third Apocalypse, which means all colors of babylonians, all marks of daevas and all generations of chimeras could live in harmony with mechs and homunculi and uploaded virtual people too if we wanted to. But that is a pretty strong if there. Because, let's be honest: we don't want to. It is in our nature to hate the other, to fear the outsider, the different, the new. It is not something that a few hundred generations will wash away. Especially if some of the older generations still walk among us. In a way, the tension of the multi-cultural megapolice of Yilbegän was and will always be doomed to violent crimes and clans who grasp for powers. The idea of family, might be faint, is an ancient concept of "we care for each other". No, I would go a step further and say it's like a "we against them" statement. Because we all want security, and some of us also want more power, wealth and sex, so the notion of a clan as a perfect unit of society might be ideal. If you take care of your clan members, they will in turn care for you. And if said clan is threatened that means you are threatened, therefore you must act or all of you will go down. You give a couple of years and enough blood-shed on both sides, you soon arrive to the conclusion that all those who carry the smallest opposition against you are seen as a threat. Maybe then you don't even want to distinguish anymore. You shoot first and ask questions later, because if you don't, they will.

   See? I fully understand why the Bazaka Clan tries to eradicate every critique in its way. Why they systematically seek to destroy any opposition, why they do all in their power to silence the slightest chance against them. I also think that they are the lowest kind of scum that ever crawled the worlds. I'm drifting again, aren't I?

   We sat in the same diner, the Soaring Dragon, where we sat a few nights before that. This time it was completely empty so we sat at the bar, drinking not much but beer. I still needed to clear my head so nothing strong was in question. There was no hint of daylight yet through the thick curtain of rain, but the night already carried the scent of dawn.
   "We can log in as early as tonight. Or should we ask sal Yana if she gives us a pass during the day?" Daran sounded like he was in deep thought, still looking through the phone's content we looted from the crime scene of Sally Rubaty. With all the tech left behind, there was nothing which would incriminate the clan. There were only some articles which Sanity allegedly wrote about the scavengers of the shantytown in Fellmarsh. But let's be honest, they overdid their job for the Wardens; this poor excuse of a police won't chase down killers who murder nobody's daughters in sideroad motels. They are too busy to investigate "terrorists" who might conspire against the Clan.
   "Daran" I started, "I guess she is safe for now. So we could plan our next steps without being reckless."
   "Why are you so sure? If they find her now, they kill or delete her and that was it."
I was just not sure if our enemies were that tech savvy. This girl seemed a bit better equipped, not to mention the fact that she did something that nobody could in a century. Putting a person from the Astral into a body was something you could do if you had the Shekels and a potential body; but it was much harder to upload someone and have them continue their lives and not just create a copy of their mind and kill the body. Many argue that it's not the same thing.
Daran checked his comm and shook his head. "Man, I gotta go." He said. I turned to him and he answered, "I'm needed at work. Fuck, I forgot it's so late. I mean, early."
I didn't even know what day it was. Probably that's why I could never hold down a proper day job. Not that I aspired to get one. He paid for the beers, stood up and looked at me.
   "Listen, let's catch up later today. Maybe go home, get a bath and other things. Or you want to carry on?" His hasty tone to end this unnecessary social interaction was new from him. I thought we were past this bullshit.
   "I see what I can find out." I promised nothing, that was my signature move.
   "Call me, Sheriff. But don't meet her alone." With that he left in his cool and modern jacket that made him look like a troublemaker. The kind of guy girls loved to fall for.
I looked at the empty glass and I was faced with the impossible question again: nobody's watching, the bartender steps to me soon, what to do? I am not here to make the story look nicer, or me for that matter. I ordered something strong. Don't blame me, I had no lead, no life, no nothing. It felt so normal, you know. Back in the void of no responsibilities, the dazzled lights, the fading in and out. Time sped up for me and I used it to think. It was as if I was actually thinking way more accurately in this state. And then, after the third or fourth Grassland whiskey it dawned on me: the Spider.