The Seat of My Heart

1 A Faraway Danger

Author's Note: Asexual awareness week is almost upon us. So while I'm starting a new ace novel over on my Patreon account, I figured I should post last year's ace novel - "The Seat of My Heart" - on Wattpad.

I was totally blown away by all the nice comments I got when I posted my coming-out story "Just Hold My Hand" back in 2019, so I figured we could all use some more ace rep. This novel has two ace leads and I'll update (save for today) on Saturday and Sunday each. If you can't wait at all for it to finish serializing (or just want to support me), the ebook of "The Seat of My Heart" is up on Amazon and the paperback will follow in a couple of days. No pressure though, I'm going to post everything on here sooner or later.

Now, I won't bore you any longer with a long preamble and just get into things. I hope you'll like the story! :)

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A gong sounded in the distance, causing the visitor to turn to the window and listen for a moment. One strike, two, a third ... The smoke from the incense continued to curl in the air, diffusing a calming scent in the room. Nonetheless, Jusha Lale's heart beat rapidly, seeming to accelerate with each strike of the gong.

He gulped and picked up the plain cup of tea that had been put down in front of him. He took a sip but couldn't taste a thing. Whether it was actual tea or mere water ... he was unable to say for sure.

Putting the cup down, he looked up at the old monk opposite him. "Anqeng, pardon me for being rude, but when might I see zhireng Susha?" He had been waiting for several hours already but despite being led into this room and being served tea, nobody seemed to have gone and informed the man he wanted to meet of his coming, or at least he hadn't been told what his answer had been. The longer he waited, the more he worried. He just couldn't help himself. Not anymore.

The old monk looked at him with a kind smile. "Dear visitor, the zhireng has been a guest of our temple for a long time. When he came here, he was in search of a quiet place to find to himself and regain the balance he had lost. I wonder what your reason is to want to see him?"

Jusha Lale lowered his gaze to the liquid in his cup, making it swirl with a faint flick of his wrist, the corners of his mouth raising ever so slightly. "If I do not tell you, will zhireng Susha not be informed of my visit?"

The old monk shook his head, his eyes not straying from the young king's face for a single moment. "No, he was already informed as soon as you asked to see him. While he wishes for quietness, we will not keep it from him if he is sought out."

"But he has refused to meet with me?" Jusha Lale's smile became more pronounced but there was a hint of self-mocking contained in it. Yes, why had he thought this would turn out in any other way? He had asked so many of the zhireng but most had not deigned to even listen to him until the end. When you reached the lowest point, then why should anybody extend a hand to help you out of your plight? The world did not work like this. Not even those blessed by the gods would bother to look at you twice. At heart, they were still human after all. One should not expect more than what one would expect of other people from them. He should have known.

The old monk shook his head. "He has not. It is merely that zhireng Susha puts a lot of emphasis on his spiritual journey. He seemed to have been meditating when you arrived so most likely, he will come over as soon as he finishes."

"I see. It seems I can only continue to wait then." He picked up the cup of tea and lowered his head. He didn't think a monk would lie to him but his hopes weren't high anymore. He had seen too much since he had to leave the palace or maybe it was that he had not seen enough before he left his home. Maybe all of this never would have happened had he only been more perceptive. Now, there was nothing that could be done about it anymore though.