We live in cities you never see on-screen ~ls

its autumn

Its a calming atmosphere, staring in the dark, watching the stars and just inhaling the fresh air. Its so much easier to live alone and having no one around, no responsibility, knowin nobody can disrupt Louis intense moments, hes having on his small balcon. He indeed missed it. But he also misses the company of a man he knows to spend his life with. He didn't go out for what? 10 years? Definitely too long. But it's okay, he enjoys being alone, he deserves to be alone.

The raindrops slowly starts to make its way on Louis' face, touching his hair, his forehead up to his eyes and his nose, to his lips and finally reaching his chin. It's refreshing. After what feels like an eternity of sitting in the rain he gets up from his uncomfortable chair to go back to his bedroom. Back in 2013 he would happily listen to the rain dripping against his windows, dancing with a curly-headed boy to his favourite song . His favourite song was team. It was. It isn't anymore, it causes too many memories to show up. Now his favourite artist is Lana del ray. It's one of these artists you can listen to all the time, in good times as well as in bad times. Back then they all were fancying over her. He remembers the time quiet well. It changed his life to the better, did it? He can't tell right now. The only thing his head can't quite comprehend are these green eyes he was so in love with. They are mesmerising. Emerald green is his favourite colour. Always has been. He is so jealous of people who have this eye colour or maybe he is not jealous of them. Maybe his vision just blacks out every time he sees someone with emerald green eyes because he is thinking about a special person. Maybe. If so, nobody needs to know.

It's autumn, everyone's favourite session. At least it should be. Many coloured leaves are falling from the trees, showing that it's the time to rest.  Everyone is staying at home, watching television, drinking cocoa and eating biscuits. Who is he to not be one of them? Why is Louis walking down the streets and watching into all these windows to see families laugh and stare intense at the television. Why can't he be one of them? He misses his family. Calling Lottie and the twins is already on the top of his to do list. But especially his mum and fizzy. They have always been the most important people in his life, so his life took them away. Is that how it works? The universe always takes the people who you love the most? Might be a challenge. If you care about them enough, you won't have to miss anything afterwards and if not it's your own fault and you wasted time, time you could have spent with them. What's that for? Learning to appreciate?

The moment he enters the record store he feels home. There is not really a way to describe it. But he still feels so connected to music, so he decided to open a record store himself and with the help of Zayn, he succeeded. Its not the 'home' he feels with a person he loves. Its different. It's that place where you really feel at 'home'. It's the only record store in Stamford. Louis isn't able to get himself on the stage again nor does he plan on doing it in the future. Surely he misses singing, that's not a question. It was his passion, his life. And now he's sitting here, selling the records of other artists, he has seen at least once in his small life. It's not like he wasn't popular. They were literally the biggest boyband on the planet at the time. But when time went on the boys changed and so did their interests in music.

Zayn is still making music. He's not selling it under a big name. But he's doing it for himself and Louis is pretty sure the other boys know that as well and have heard one or another record of him. Louis is so proud of Zayn. Still trying to be passionate about something you hated deeply at some time in his career. But thats nothing Louis can consider doing. Everything or nothing. Either he's singing, singing on stage and recording albums and entertaining his fans, or he's doing what he's doing right now. He chose the second option and he regrets nothing. Maybe a little bit.

young and beautiful - Lana del ray
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it seems a little bit slow burn I know but it's worth it to wait.
This was the first chapter of my new story and I tbh don't know how long the chapters will be.
I tried something new with a different perspective. We will see if it works!
Thoughts?

1 nov 2021