Just when i thought i had changed and the past was the past, he came in front of me. I didn't Believe it at first, i thought, maybe i was just sleeping in class again, but he was there, everyone's eyes were on him, and his on me. "Everyone this is Park Heung-soo," the teacher said. I shivered at the sound of his name. He bowed to the class but i could still feel his eyes on me, i felt uneasy and restless and scared. Even through all my senses were telling me to look away, leave the class, anything but stay here, i couldn't stop. I stared at him, not only in shock, but with a pinch of happiness deep inside. No matter how many times i try to deny it, i can never escape the fact that i missed him, i wanted to see him for the past 3 years.
"Heung soo-ah, go sit there." The teacher pointed to the seat one row from mine. He sat in front but from time to time, he would always glance back. The sound of the bell brought me back to reality. Everyone clinged to their friend's arms and escaped their worries and wonders of the classroom but i stayed behind. Everyone had left and Heung-Soo was about to leave when i jumped out of my seat and grabbed him by the elbow. he stopped and turned around, "Are you going to break my elbow now too?" Those words had striked me like lighting and i slowly let go off his arm. My hands fell to my sides, "Do you hate me that much?" "Go Nam-Soon, do you even have to ask that? I could kill you right now, you bastard." The side of Heung-Soo's face seemed so familiar, he glared at me and started to walk away. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to do that, I mean, that's not what i wanted, I just wanted, I-" I always practiced what i would tell him when I would meet him, but know that i have finally met him, i couldn't even put my thoughts together. "Are you gonna finish your sentence or should i leave?" He started to walk away but I needed him to stay, I grabbed onto the back of his shirt. He tried to jerk me off but I didn't want to let go. I put my hands around his waist and we stood there for a few seconds which i wish had lasted longer. They say good moments pass by quick and it did. "Let go off me!" Heung Soo raised his voice at me but i still didn't want to let go because i missed his fimilliar back. Everything changed but he still smelled the same. I devoured his smell of sweet cherry blosson mixed with smoke. He turned around and Punched me in the face. I was caught off guard so i landed with my back against the wall. Teacher Kang and Jung returned to the room, "PARK HEUNGSOO! STOP IT!" It was Teacher Kang's voice. "NAM SOON-AH ARE YOU OKAY!? Get up, slowly." I leaned my weight on teacher Jung and got up. "I'm okay." i answered. Of course I was okay, it would take more than that to bring me down, and Heung Soo knew it.
"Since you say you are okay, you two follow me." Heung Soo and I stole a glance at each other and followed Teacher Kang. He brought us to the storage room and opened it. Inside was a bunch of chairs and desks. "As punishment for school violence, you two take all these to the rooftop, clean the storage room and then bring them back. Got it?" I could seriously punch him in the guts right now. "All of these? There's like about 50 in here." Heung Soo said, his face displayed a masterpiece of shock. Teacher Kang smiled and left us to our doom. "Aishh, this is all because of you." Heung Soo glared at me. "What? You are the one that punched me!" "Shut up, you piece of shit." He took out a cigarette and started to smoke. Just then we heard footsteps, i peeked out the door and it was the janitor, so we both hid in the closet. "Aishh, this closet is too small." I was right up against Heung Soo. We were pretty much the same height so i could feel his warm breath against my cheeks. "This closet isn't small, we are just too big." I heard a low snarl, which proved that he did not like my comment. "Heung Soo-ah, please listen to me okay, I'm really sorry. I went back after that incident, i went back for you the next week but you had already moved by then." It was dark in the closet, i could barely detect him through his navy blue school uniform. "I know, but you should have come that day, it was already too late." Now, he was so close that his cheeks brushed against my nose. All of a sudden there was a loud noise like something was being put against the closet, which caused the weak closet to wobble and Heug Soo fell on me. I could feel his hands at the sides of my body and his warm breath on my neck. "Heung Soo, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine, when is this stupid janitor gonna leave!" There was silent for a moment between us and then Heung Soo surprisingly spoke first, "Go Nam Soo-" He paused and i could hear him swallowing hard and his increasing heartbeat resonated through my ear. "Why didn't you come? Why didn't you come to see me. I was hurt so why didn't you- I mean, I, I thought you'd be the first one to care, to come and say you were sorry. But you didn't come." "I was going to, but i was afraid. Afraid that you wouldn't want to be friends with a guy like me. I regret it because i was being a coward. I regret not going. I regret, not telling you how much i cared and how sorry I was- no, how sorry I AM. Is there any chance that you'd forgive me?" I knew he was startled because I couldn't feel his warm breath anymore. Then he gave a little sly laugh. "Why should i forgive you?" Everything was quiet, there was no noise, no nothing. "Because i miss you you bastard. I want us to be the same again." I didn't know his reaction. Even if he was going to say something i would never know what. The closet door opened and and the janitor looked angrily at us. "Smoking huh? Wait till' your teacher hears about this." Because of that we got into so much trouble but in a way i was glad that we got into trouble together like we did back in the old days.
We got into constant fights but none of them were like this one. It happened, on a rainy day in the midst of winter. Heung Soo was sitting in his seat when I brought him bread and milk from the cafeteria. "Get it away! Stop feeling sorry for me! There is nothing that you can do that will make me forgive you!" Heung Soo stood up and locked eyes with me. Those angry eyes made me want to throw myself away because i did not want him to hate me this much. I gently touched his arm but he pushed me away. He got up and grabbed me by the collar. "Go ahead, hit me, at least you'll feel better." I smiled at him. He smirked, "As you wish." He punched me once in the face and another one on my stomach and he kept on punching me until Song Ha Kyung came and tried stopped us, but he didn't even look at her and pushed her away. She fell to the ground and hit her head on a desk. I quickly got up and shook her by the shoulders, but she didn't answer. I put her on my back and carried her to the nurse's office. Amongst the silence I could hear footsteps after me but they got faint til' I couldn't hear them anymore.
The teacher asked the class whose fault was it? Of course, Oh Jung Ho said it was me and Heung Soo and no one in class objected. Due to our past records of fighting, this is our last draw. One of us had to transfer, but this time i wasn't going to run away, so i put my hands up, "I volunteer, I will transfer." I could feel that Heung Soo's gaze was on me and so was everybody else's but i didnt dare look because i knew it would make me weak. The teacher nodded and told me to follow him, and so i did.
I was about to sign my transfer papers when some one slammed the door open and bashed into the room. It was Heung Soo. I was so surprised to see him that the pen fell out of my hands. "Teacher, Go Nam Soon isn't the predator and I'm not the victim. We are friends." Then he ran over to me and grabbed my hand and jerked me up from my seat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be borrowing him." No words came out. It was like someone had just stole all the words from the mouth and sealed them off somewhere far away. I didn't even know where we were going, i just kept on staring at where mine and his hands were locked together. He took me to the storage room where we had been locked in before. He swung me inside the room and locked the door. He quickly walked towards me and pinned my hands on the wall. His eyes looked more scared than angry. They were watering like the rainy sky. My heart felt as though it was going to stop beating. Within the silence he finally spoke, "I forgive you, you fucking bastard." And then he did the most unexpected thing, he leaned in close to me and kissed me on the lips. He let go of my hands and put his hands around my waist and gently pulled me in towards his body that had been drenched in the rain. If i wanted, i could have easily pushed him away and gotten out of there, but i didn't want to. He put his rough lips on mine, at first i could only feel the cold but them i coulnd't feel anything but those lips. His kiss got harder and so did his grip on me. I had lost track of time, my legs felt numb and I was about to fall when be pushed our bodies to the wall. My mind was a haze, i heard a moan but didn't know whose it was. All I really did was feel. I felt this lips and tongue and his wet hair as i put my hands around his neck and ran my hands through his full head of hair. I couldn't see anything and only then did i realize that my eyes were shut. He slowly moved down to my neck and gently creased my hair as he pecked my neck but then he stopped and suddenly broke away, but he did not loose his grip on me. I slowly opened my eyes but everything was blurry and i realized that i was crying. He leaned down at my ear and whispered, "Don't go near Song Ha Kyung, I don't like it. I don't like it when you touch her and I don't like it when you talk to her." I tired to piece the words together and i finally snapped back to reality. "Heung Soo-ah are you jealous of her?" "Yeah I am, that's why don't go near her." "Is this why you kissed me?" I was curious, as to why he did this, because i knew it wasn't only because he was jealous of Ha Kyung. He took me in an embrace and held onto me tightly. I couldn't see his face but i put my hands in his hair. "I missed you, i really really missed you, but i couldn't forgive you for abandoning me. I knew you were important to me but I didn't know that I felt this way about you. I mean, we were always together, so seeing you with someone else just makes me angry." "You like me." For the first time i said something without thinking. I forgot for a moment that we were both guys and that he hated me a day ago and that i broke his leg and all his dreams that lies with it. "I don't know." Heung Soo's voice was barely there. "Then why did you kiss me?" "I don't know." "Aish, crazy bastard, is that your answer for everything?!" I tried to remove his face from my shoulder so i could look at him but he held on tightly. Eventually i realized that this is the happiest I have been in three years. I locked my hands around his neck and we stayed there until we both drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, the last thing i remember was the pitter patter sound of the rain outside and Heung Soo's warm gentle smile, like the ones from back in the days, and then everything went dark.
