I know I've talked about this 100 times but I can't get over it and I'm manifesting it. I've now realized that love is truly for some reason hard to find. Like happiness it seems simple but is so much more complex than we realize. What even is love? What is this feeling that makes you feel like you're floating but when it goes wrong , makes you feel like you're dying. There's so many different types of love, so many different forms, names, actions and levels to love. Now I can't define what love is , I don't think anyone really can but I know that I want it. But not just any kind of love, the kind that just shows up out of no where and just begins. No confusion, no guessing. I wan the love that dance with you in the rain instead of being upset that it's Raining because they realize how beautiful rain can be especially at night. I want the kind of love that makes things feel easy, things just flow. I want the kind of love that is polar opposite to you yet complements you. The kind of love that is poetry. The kind of love that makes you feel like you're enough. The kind of love where you just sit and laugh at nothing. The kind of love that makes you feel like it's just you and them, living in this perfect romantic movie. The kind of love that you run into the woods with and just scream with them, then laugh afterwards. The kind of love where you can call anytime, even just to say nothing and not have a single thought even for a second that you are a burden. The kind of love that you just sit with and talk about whatever. The kind of love that just understands you even when you don't understand you. The kind of love that see your flaws are something amazing. The kind love that just makes you feel 10 times harder. The kind of love where you stare into each other beautiful souls through your eyes and smile. That's what love is to me, that's the love a want and lay awake for. But is that love real? Or is it just a dream?. people always take about the fun part of love. The running through newyork taking Polaroid pictures with smiles so bright they could light up newyork its self, kissing in time square, feeling like the world is paused just for you two, but they like to not think about the end of that all. About how if this ends so do you, you're paralyzed. You can't go here or there, the world unpauses and quickly starts moving to make up for the time you missed, you're broken and depending on how much love you put in that could be for any amount of time. I guess that's why it's not talked about, it's terrifying to know that something so beautiful can be so deadly. It's so scary, knowing this paralyzing pain could strike at any time. There's nothing to stop it, nothing to make it less painful, but is that not the price of true love? The price of your soulmate? Of that feeling?is that a nice i can afford? I guess I'll find out but I love this feeling so fuck it, I am all in.
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