4/15/22
TikTok: off.honey
This isn't formal it's just my thoughts. If you relate let me know
— sorry for any spelling mistakes—
I'm only 17 but I feel like I'm going through a mid life crisis. I already feel like I'm wasting my life and like I'm old. My life hasn't even started but it already feels like I'm living the wrong away. The idea of getting old is so scary and it makes me wanna froze time. I think that's why I love going to the bathroom in school, we I just me in there it really feels like time has stop a little. I wanna go to parties and not overthink anything, I want to truly be free like the people on tv are, I wanna do that thing they do in the movies where the stand up in their car while going though a tunnel with their hands spread wide. I know for a fact that when I'm famous that the first thing I'm gonna do. I imagine it feels like flying for sure. I wanna do things in the moment and not feel like I'm watching my life from a tv screen instead of actually living it. I wanna be able to say "I don't know what I'm doing next Tuesday" instead of knowing that I'm probably gonna go to school and home. In Ferris bueller's day off he said that " life moves pretty quickly and if you don't stop and look around once in a while you just might miss it" I that's my biggest fear. Waking up and feeling like I am aster my life. I know that I'm only 17 and my life isn't gonna look like something off of euphoria but I know it should be a lot more than this right? Parties, driving, road trips and more. My goal for my 20s is to live it up, to live as if I were dying tomorrow. And most importantly, stop caring!!!!! Because I know that's what killed me. I wasted so much time thinking about what other people were thinking and how they probably thought this and that. Failing to understand that those insecurities are all in my head and they can't see it. They don't know me and those things I think they're saying are so impossible because they don't know me. I know what I want them to know. So kobi in 20s, stop overthinking and just live.
