STAY (one-shot)

S T A Y

Damn you Khai!” I shouted with all my might, careless of the vehicles passing. From what I remember, I  drank a lot of shots of tequila but then okay pa rin akong maglakad. It makes sense since I was a hard-drinker, before Khai happened. I just limited myself from drinking too much while I was in an oh-so-relationship with him. Sa katunayan, ngayon lang ako nag-all-out eversince.

On the other hand, I wanna be so drunk so that I could pass out and someone will call him to fetch me. I just wanted to be with him even just for a little while. But I really can’t do it kasi nga, wala na siya…

Hindi ko akalaing magagawa kong magmaka-awa ng atensyon at pagmamahal sa kaniya. Kahit na alam kong wala naman talaga siyang nararamdaman sa akin, simula pa lang ngunit sumugal pa rin ako… Akala ko kasi may magbabago, akala ko ako na, akala ko lang pala.

I was actually walking on the bridge with some people also. And I could actually see them taking a glance at me and they were probably stereotyping that I’m one of those na napariwara. Maya-maya pa’y huminto ako sa gilid ng kalsada, sa gitna ng tulay...

“Hindi ko kailanmang inakala na sa susunod na titingala ako sa buwan, malaya na ‘ko.” Habang patuloy na pinagmamasdan ang buwan, napaisip ako, “How could Luna shine so bright even if she’s light years apart from Sol, her lover?”.

Alam kong namumugto na aking mga mata dahil sa pag-iyak niya halos buong gabi at araw, and I probably look like some addict right now, still my tears flowed one by one hanggang sa nagtuloy-tuloy na. Hindi ko ring mapigilang alalahanin ang nangyari kanina lang.

“Hyeong-g...” Why do you have to leave me when I  was the one who stayed?

“Sorry dongsaeng...” He held my hands as I cupped his face. I was crying my heart out. And yet, there’s not even a hint of his tears flowing.

“I know there’s already a bond between us but we can’t continue this anymore. I have set up my plans from before and I need to follow that no matter what.”

After he said that, I felt my knees getting weaker and weaker. Napaluhod na lamang ako, patuloy pa ring umiiyak.

The moments we spent together, the memories came rushing back in my mind.

I stood by his side. I stayed for he was so devastated that time since his childhood crush and long-time girlfriend left him for the afterlife. Ang masama pa diyan ay siya yung sinisisi ng pamilya nung girlfriend niya kung bakit na-aksidente raw ito. He told me that his girlfriend was crossing the street to meet him at the other side when a truck passed by and hit her.

He’s already dear to me so I did everything I knew to help him bounce back from what have happened. At the same time, I was falling for him already. And what he’s saying to me now is making me feel that I’m so stupid, that I’m a fool for staying with him.

I have a lot to say to him but I don’t know where to start.

“Please stay...” Can you stay like how I did when you were like this, crying endlessly? He’s making me question if he really did value me because ba’t parang ang dali niya lang akong iwan.

“Dongsaeng--” He looked away as if he can’t see me like this.

“Please don’t do this,” I sobbed. I couldn’t care less of the eyes boring into me.

I never thought of this coming our way… okay naman kami ah… I wanted to ask him a lot of things but I cannot because he still need to catch his flight for US kasi doon na raw siya mag-aaral for his med proper.

“Sorry Khean...” That were his last words before pulling me into a hug and finally went to the boarding area in the airport.

Throughout the relationship I had with him, I never heard him saying that he likes me or loves me. All he did was say a single sentence, “Please stay with me”. And all I did was follow him because I like his company too. It always makes me happy whenever I’m with him.

He also knows that I like him but he was clear on saying that he only treats me as his yeodongsaeng. I was happy with it though. At that time, I never really thought of pursuing him since he’s so high to reach. But then, after almost a year since that accident with his girlfriend happened….

I took the risk of confessing to him when we were on a vacation. Actually it’s a vacation for us to celebrate our birthdays together. His was on September 30 and mine was on September 28. He said he’s trying little by little to open his heart for someone new. And I was so happy that time, I thought I could take a shot on him but then, not even a month after, he said he’s leaving.

Masakit pala talaga… Our relationship wasn’t even on its peak, we were just starting. Hindi ko matanggap na nagawa niya akong iwan nang ganun-ganun na lang, na talagang sobrang late na nang sinabi niya sa akin na aalis pala siya. Pa’no ko pa siya mapipigilan? He just called me while I were in my room saying that I should meet him at the airport.

Out of the blue, I thought of following him abroad. So I hurriedly went home, packed my things, and slept.
I know that it’s a sudden and even a stupid decision but what else could I do? Hayaan na lang na ganoon ang kahihinatnan namin? Gosh, he’s something I knew I should be fighting for because he’s really worth all the effort, pain and all.

Kinabukasan, I immediately booked a flight bound to US and at 12 pm, I went to the airport, rode a plane and finally feel the wind of America. The problem is Khai doesn’t know I’m here in the US.

So to let him know, I called him.

“Answer my call Khai, please...” I was fidgeting on my phone and thank God, he answered.

“Kheanna?” Gosh… I can’t help but giggle on how beautiful my name sounds when he’s the one calling me.

“Hey, are you there? Do you need something?” I cleared my throat and then…

“C-can you fetch me at the airport please?” There, I finally managed to say it. Though nakakahiya talaga sa part ko kasi nga inaabala ko siya…

“Please don’t tell me you’re in America, woman!”

“Well, it’s unfortunate for you because I’m here my man!” I uttered smiling.

“You’re really crazy over me, huh?!”  He said sounding like he can’t believe that I’m here.

“Okay, stay there for a while. Wait for me. Just text me where exactly are you at and what are you wearing so that I can locate you easily.”

After half an hour, I saw him roaming his eyes around probably lookin’ for me nang nakakunot ang noo. I couldn’t help myself but thinking he’s so cute in doing that.

As soon as our eyes have locked, he’s already paving his way towards me. And a gesture I didn’t expect him to do, he opened his arms wide to welcome me.

Being me excited to finally be with him, I ran and hugged him like I can’t let him go… hindi ko nga namalayang tumutulo na pala iyong luha ko. He probably noticed my shoulders heaving up and down.

“Why?” Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. I was taken aback when he caressed my face, drying my tears up with his thumb.

“I don’t want us to end like that. To be precise, I don’t want us to end. I fell for you so hard I couldn’t even stand up. Saranghae, aishetiru, I love you so much Khein Haniel Lopez.”

“Honestly, I have thought of going back there because you are there. When I first set my feet here, I thought that was really the end for us but you are here with me already so thank you so much. I never thought it could be so hard without you by my side. I was afraid of losing you like how I lost her so I decided to distance myself from you. Sorry. But I do love you too Kheandra Lynn Suan, soon to be Lopez. I love you so so so so much.”

“You are forgiven my love, and one thing, you’ll never lose me for I am inside you, I am inside your heart.”

“Oh, yeah? Then, would you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me?”  I slowly nodded while my cheeks flared up.

Ikinahig niya ang buhok ko palikod. He slowly tilted my head upwards. Then, he held my face with so much care while his face drawing near, with our eyes locked in, eyelids slowly closing, he kissed me na para bang ibinubuhos niya iyong pagmamahal niya sa ’kin.

***
From then and onwards, I’ll leave it up to your imagination.